Marriage Material
by Between The Clouds
Summary: Chandler didn't end up coming back in time for his wedding. AU after season 7. Eventual Mondler.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Microwave mac and cheese was on sale. Chandler stood in the frozen food aisle, weighing his options. Mac and cheese had been upsetting his stomach lately, but a sale is a sale. He shoved a few boxes in his cart before moving on to the frozen vegetables.

"Chandler?"

He froze. It was a familiar voice; a voice he had heard almost every day for a decade. It was funny how even now, that voice felt like a cozy blanket. A comfort that Chandler learned to live without. Plastering a smile on his face, he turned around and regarded the tall man.

"Ross. It's good to see you." He wasn't sure if that was exactly true, but it came out anyway. "How have you been?"

"Pretty good. Emma's growing so fast. She looks so much like Rachel. Actually, Rachel and I are getting married next month. We've been busy getting everything ready." Despite his discomfort at seeing Chandler, Ross' excitement shone through. Chandler was reminded of the guy who shared his dorm room back in college, his eyes lighting up every time he talked about Rachel. A sharp pang went through him. While he knew he wouldn't receive an invitation, it still hurt. He was Ross' best man for his first two weddings, and for his fourth (and hopefully final), he wouldn't even be there.

Chandler managed a small smile. "Yeah, Joey told me. Congratulations." The two men lapsed into an uncomfortable silence. Ross suddenly appeared to be very interested in the bags of mixed vegetables.

"So, how's the gang doing?" Chandler asked.

"Good, good. You probably already know that Joey got cast in a movie. And Phoebe's dating a new guy. It seems to be kind of serious. Who would've thought, huh?" Ross gave his former best friend a quick smile, and Chandler returned it.

He knew he was venturing into dangerous territory, but he couldn't help it. "And how's Monica?" he asked in the most casual voice he could muster.

Ross immediately threw him a guarded look. "Fine," he shot out. "She's dating a new guy too. I haven't seen her look so happy in ages. You know, he's the best guy she's ever dated."

Rachel was right about Ross being a petty man.

"That's ... good. I'm happy for her." Chandler swallowed hard. "Look, it was great to see you, but I'd better get going. Work's been crazy lately, so I have a bunch to catch up on. Congrats again on the wedding."

"Yeah." Chandler might have just been imagining it, but that one syllable sounded kind of sad. Like it was waiting for more words to join it, but it was left alone to convey everything. Ross looked at Chandler closely before nodding and taking a step back. "I hope you're doing well, Chandler," he said before turning and walking away.

It's just something you say. Like telling a girl you'll call her after a bad date. It doesn't mean anything. But Chandler chose to believe Ross really did mean it.

Once his groceries had been paid for and he was safe in his apartment, Chandler tried to sit down with his mac and cheese and watch TV, but his mind kept returning to the last time he had seen Ross. Was it really two years ago? He could still remember everything so vividly. Finally, he gave up on distracting himself and let his mind wander back to that hotel room on what was supposed to be his wedding night.

After he didn't get married, he had stayed at a hotel room for a few weeks. He couldn't go back to his and Monica's apartment, and he couldn't stay across the hall either. The first night at the hotel, he was woken up by somebody banging on the door. "Chandler! Open up!"

He opened the door to see Ross absolutely fuming. He was practically foaming at the mouth. Before Chandler could get a word in, Ross punched him in the face. It was hard enough for Chandler to stumble back. When he felt his nose, it was wet. "Ross…" he began. Ross looked like he was about to walk out, but then he charged into the room instead.

"How could you do this?" He demanded, throwing his hands in the air. "I trusted you. Monica trusted you!" Chandler wondered why Ross didn't confront him earlier in the day when he returned to the apartment. Before he even got to see Monica, he was greeted by his very irate group of friends. Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey started in on him right away, but Ross just glared at him. He was expecting the punch then, but Ross just turned on his heel and left, slamming the door behind him.

"I told you not to hurt my sister!" Ross yelled. "All you had to do was put on a suit and say 'I do', and you couldn't even do that! My God, you are more fucked up than I ever imagined." He threw himself into a chair and continued to wildly throw his arms around.

Chandler sat in the chair next to him. "I know, okay? I tried to come back as soon as I could, as soon as I realized …" He stopped and shook his head. "But you know how that went," he said bitterly.

"You realized too late!" Ross yelled again. He got up and started pacing again. "Don't you get it? You told the entire world you didn't want to marry her! You let her stand up in front of all her friends and family and be humiliated when you didn't show up!" Ross covered his face with his hands and breathed heavily. "God Chandler, you _know_ what our mom's like. She'll be lamenting to all her friends about how Monica lost her only shot of getting married. Do you really think she'll ever let her live it down?"

Chandler couldn't think of the right words to say, so he remained silent.

Letting out a groan, Ross continued his tirade. "And that's the worst part of this. You knew exactly what was going to happen, and you did it anyway. You _knew _how long it took her to get over Richard. You held her as she cried over him! Now she's even more of a wreck than she ever was after Richard, and it's all your fault!" Eventually, Ross stopped pacing and sat down on the floor against the door. His head was back in his hands. He seemed to be done yelling, and neither man spoke for a long time.

Chandler finally broke the silence. "I never meant to hurt her. I thought I was saving her future pain. I knew I was going to be a lousy husband, and I guess this proves it."

Ross ignored this statement, but a little while later he added his own. "You know, I was so excited when you and Monica got engaged. You were my brother, and this was going to make it official." He gave the other man a sad smile. The use of past tense did not escape Chandler.

That's when Chandler understood. Ross had come to say goodbye.

"I uhhh, I can't be your friend anymore." He finally came out and said it. "Too much has happened. It just wouldn't work."

Chandler wanted to mention that he was still friends with Ross after Ross broke Rachel's heart, but for the millionth time that day, he remained silent. There was no changing Ross' mind.

He tried to lighten the mood with a joke, but that couldn't come out either. He settled on the only thing he could. "Take care of Monica, okay? I'm the biggest idiot alive, but I'm always gonna love her."

Ross smiled. "I know." And that was the last thing he said before he left.

Back in the present, Chandler threw away his untouched mac and cheese. He reflexively touched his nose where Ross had punched him. The punch had hurt like hell, but he would take a million punches over seeing Monica's tear-stained face.

"_No Chandler, you don't love me! Because if you loved me, you could never humiliate me like that! I was ready to spend the rest of my life with you, and you just left. You left me!" She stopped talking as sobs wracked her body. _

He rubbed his eyes vigorously, trying to rub the memory out of his brain. Sighing, he flopped back down on the couch and surfed through all the channels. He wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Why do I always write depressing stories? Don't worry, things will improve. It will have a happy ending, I promise!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any part of FRIENDS.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Ross walked into Monica's apartment, carrying Emma. "Emma wanted to see her favourite aunt," he told his sister. Monica's face lit up and she scooped Emma into her arms.

"She's getting so big!" Monica exclaimed. She tickled Emma's toes and looked up at Ross. "So how was your day? Did you find a suit for your big day yet?"

"Still looking," Ross replied. He let out a few nervous giggles. "It's a pretty funny story. You'll, uhhh, never guess who I ran into today."

Without looking up, Monica threw out a guess. "Joshua."

Ross giggled a bit more. "Ummmm, not exactly. I uhhh, I saw Chandler."

Monica whipped her head up. "Oh, that's … that's cool," she stumbled. She returned her gaze to Emma, tickling her toes again. "How's he doing?"

"He doesn't look like he's doing great." Ross thought for a second. Was that the right thing to say? He didn't want Monica to worry about Chandler, but he also didn't want Monica to think Chandler was doing fine without her. This was new territory. It was only recently that Monica was able to talk about her ex-fiance. Sometimes she even made jokes about him. Ross didn't know exactly how to talk to her about Chandler, but for some reason he thought she should know they ran into each other. At last, he settled on a more neutral statement. "I mean, I wouldn't say he's doing terrible, but it's obvious he hasn't moved on as well as you have."

Monica gave Ross a warm smile. "Thank you," she said.

It wasn't until two days later when Monica started to think about what Ross had told her. She was on her way to pick up her boyfriend, Ryan, from work. Their relationship was only four months old, and this would be the first time she got to see where he worked. She knew he worked at an advertising firm, and was getting fairly high up in the company. As she got on the subway towards his work, she thought about the Chandler incident.

Monica didn't know how she felt about it. It was kind of nice hearing that he was doing alright. Nobody in the group really talked about Chandler around her, even though she told them it was fine and she was over it. She knew Joey still hung out with Chandler regularly, but Joey showed surprising tact and never mentioned him. For her part, Monica did her absolute best to never think about him. But since Ross mentioned him, she couldn't help but let her mind wander. Besides, now that she was in a relationship again, remembering how things ended with Chandler would only make her stronger.

It was in her apartment (back then it was their apartment) where they broke up. It wasn't the last time they saw each other, since Chandler still needed to move his things out and pay back the vendors, but Monica counted it as the last time. She closed her eyes and let the memories crash over her.

Chandler had burst through the door, his hair and clothes a mess. "Monica!" he shouted. "Thank God you're here. I got on a bus to Chicago, but right away I realized what I was doing and got off the bus. I tried to get back in time for the wedding, but the bus was delayed. I tried to call you, but I couldn't get service. When I got back to the city, I went straight to the venue. By then you had already left. So I came here … Mon, I am so, so sorry. Panic took over, but I'm here now. If you'll take me back, I'll never leave again." He took Monica's hands in his, but she backed away.

She just stared at him. He had the same face he had yesterday, the one she was so in love with. But for the first time, she looked at him and she couldn't find her best friend anywhere. The guy who lived across the hall was gone. She only saw a liar who broke her heart.

When she finally spoke, her voice was devoid of emotion. "The funny thing is, Chandler, I could have forgiven you for just about anything. I could have forgiven you if you were scared and ran away, if you had only come back. Even if you ran down that aisle a half hour late, I would have forgiven you. I probably would have even forgiven you if you had just called and told me you were on your way. But what I can't forgive is you leaving me at the altar without a single word for two hours." Despite her best efforts, she started getting visibly upset again. Her voice got higher. "I thought you got into an accident until they finally came clean about the note! Never in my entire life have I felt so undesirable, so unloved, so unwanted. The whole time, I kept going over all my faults, all the reasons why you didn't want to marry me."

Chandler's face fell as he began to realize the full effect of what he did. "Mon," he tried. "You've got to understand I didn't run away because of you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I guess I just knew I would screw that up sooner or later." He grasped her hands again, and this time she didn't pull away. "But I'm willing to face that now. I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. Let's go to the courthouse right now and get married. Then we can have a real wedding in a few months." He gazed into her blue eyes. "Please, Mon."

Monica shook her head, tears starting to fall. As if she hadn't already cried enough that day. She tried to back away again, but Chandler held on tight.

"Please," he said again, his voice cracking. "This can't be the end. I can't exist without you. I wouldn't even know where to start."

She kept shaking her head and yanked her hands out of his. "No," she let out, trying to steady her breathing. "I can't stand to look at you. You took my biggest insecurity and forced me to face it alone. Standing in front of hundreds of people. I will never, ever be able to forget that."

"Please, Monica. I love you more than I ever thought it was possible to love anybody. I know we can work this out. I'll be glued to your side. I won't even go out to check the mail without letting you know where I'm going."

He was interrupted by Monica throwing the salt and pepper shakers on the ground. They bounced against the tile and left salt and pepper bits everywhere. "No Chandler, you don't love me!" she cried out. "Because if you loved me, you could never humiliate me like that! I was ready to spend the rest of my life with you, and you just left. You left me!" She broke down into harder sobs. They were so powerful she stopped breathing for a few seconds.

Chandler didn't know else to say, so he did what he always did when she was upset. He stepped forward and held her in his arms, pulling her against him. She couldn't help but lean into his chest and wrap her arms around him.

She didn't know how long they stayed like that. At some point they ended up sitting on the couch, still wrapped up in each other. She tried to stay as still as possible, holding onto him for as long as she could.

Eventually, Chandler shifted and the magic was broken. Monica disentangled herself and sat up straight. "I think you should leave now," she said quietly. "I'll get Joey to pack up some of your things and send them over to wherever you'll be staying tonight. We can deal with the rest of your belongings on a different day."

Chandler stood up and walked towards the door. She was surprised when he didn't argue. As he opened the door, he turned back to her and smiled. Or at least she thought it was an attempt at a smile. "I still can't believe that after all we've been through, this is how it ends."

She smiled back at him through watery eyes. "Goodbye, Chandler," she whispered as she closed the door behind him.

Damn it, now she was crying on the subway. Monica wiped her tears with a napkin, then straightened her dress and walked off the subway at her stop. She found Ryan's building and chastised herself in the elevator. There was a reason why she never thought about Chandler. But that didn't matter now. She stepped off the elevator and put a smile on her face, excited to see Ryan's office.

Ryan was sitting at his desk, typing away on his computer. When he heard her come in, he looked up and grinned at her. "Hi, sweetie. How do you like it?"

She looked around his office. It was very spacious, with large windows overlooking downtown. Ryan was an avid collector of plants, and the greenery really spruced up his office. He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. She smiled and turned around to kiss him. "It's very big. You must have a billion assistants, Mr. Big Shot."

He laughed and kissed her deeper. "Well, I'm not exactly head chef, but I do have a few assistants. It's definitely nice." He sat on the edge of his desk and pulled her down on his lap. "You can make it to the office Christmas in July party, right? It's next Friday," he asked her between kisses.

"Hmmm, next Friday? I've worked about fourteen Friday evenings in a row, so I'll make sure to get that evening off." Monica grinned, and he pulled her in for another kiss.

They were interrupted by a knock on the door. "Ryan? I have papers here that need to get filled out by tomorrow morning."

_Shit_. Monica knew that voice all too well. What were the chances? She leaped off Ryan's lap and smoothed her dress down again. Where could she hide? Was there time to dive under the desk? She was still patting her hair flat when Ryan told him to come in.

Chandler entered the office carrying a folder full of papers. His face drained of color when his eyes fell on hers.

Ryan took the folder from him and placed it on his desk. "Monica, this is one of the new interns, Chandler. Chandler, this is Monica, my girlfriend." Ryan smiled at them both, oblivious to the sudden tension in the room.

Chandler held his hand out and Monica shook it. "It's nice to meet you," she murmured, glancing up at his eyes. Had they always been so pretty?

"The pleasure is all mine," Chandler returned. His gaze bore into hers, and she felt as if all the air had been sucked out of the room.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So this chapter ended up being even more depressing, but I had to set up the backstory. Do you think it was a realistic ending to their relationship?Please let me know what you think!

**Disclaimer:** I still don't have any rights to FRIENDS.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"So … I should get going. I'll see you tomorrow, Ryan." Chandler glanced over at Monica again. "It was nice to meet you. Maybe I'll see you around."

Monica watched him turn to go. His hair was longer. It reminded her of how it was styled back when Rachel joined the group, but the style he had now was more modern. "I'm going to the office party next Friday," she blurted out before she could stop herself. "So maybe I'll see you there," she added, giving him a reassuring smile.

He stopped as he was halfway through the door, popping his head back in. He flashed her that boyish grin she missed so much her chest hurt. "Sounds good," he responded.

* * *

"Dude, I don't know if I can do this. Maybe I should pretend I'm too sick to go."

Chandler was pacing his apartment while talking to Joey on the phone. It was Friday evening, and the office party started in an hour.

"Relax. It's not a big deal. You don't even have to talk to her. Just greet her when you see her and leave it at that if you're not ready." Chandler heard Joey chewing on a sandwich. "But wait a minute. It sounded like she wanted to see you tonight. She did mention she's gonna be there, right?"

"Right!" Chandler shouted. "Do you think that's some sort of signal?"

"Hmmm …" Joey paused. "No idea," he said at last. Chandler slapped his hand to his forehead. With all of Joey's dating experience, Chandler was hoping he would know something Chandler didn't.

"What should I wear?"

"A suit. Definitely a suit."

"Thanks, Joe," Chandler said sarcastically. "I would have never came to that brilliant idea on my own."

"I like the dark blue one. Wear that." Joey took another bite of his sandwich. "Hey, I just thought of something. You probably shouldn't approach her first. Let her come to you if she wants. Especially since she has a boyfriend now, and that boyfriend happens to be your boss."

Finally, some decent advice. "That's a good idea," Chandler admitted. "Thanks, Joey." This time it was genuine.

"No problem. Man, I really hope it works out."

"Me too," Chandler responded. They said their goodbyes before hanging up. Chandler checked his watch. He had exactly fifteen minutes to get dressed and get a cab. In a panic, he looked in his hallway mirror and tried to smooth his hair down. It could definitely use a bit more gel. Was cologne too much?

* * *

Looking around the room at the Christmas lights and holly, Monica wondered if she should have worn something more festive. She opted for a simple black dress with red heels, and she put small gold hoops in her ears. She owned a pair of little bell earrings somewhere. They would have been cute.

Ryan came beside her and kissed her cheek. "In the advertising world, we like to prepare for holidays five months in advance," he joked.

"It looks beautiful. I just wish I was dressed more for the occasion."

Her boyfriend put his hands on her shoulders and looked her up and down. "You look perfect," he murmured. "I can't wait for an occasion of our own tonight."

Monica laughed and shoved his arm playfully. "We should mingle."

Fifteen minutes later, Monica was trapped in an exceedingly boring conversation with Ryan and two senior company employees. She had lost count how many minutes they spent debating over which type of printer paper was ultimately the most cost-effective. She glanced around the room and her eyes fell on Chandler. He was wearing a dark blue suit and had a lopsided Santa hat on his head. He was in the middle of a conversation of his own with an older couple. From his use of his fake work laugh, his conversation apparently wasn't going any better than hers. Monica smiled to herself. Excusing herself from the conversation, she made her way over to Chandler.

She politely introduced herself to the elderly couple, then whispered in Chandler's ear. "I see the fake work laugh is out with full force tonight."

"Have you heard this conversation?" he whispered back. "They're lucky I haven't shot myself yet."

Monica giggled. She was shocked how natural this felt. After not seeing each other for two years, they were able to so easily fall back into their old routine. The sensible part of her told her this was a bad idea; she should have never gone over to him tonight. But that part of her evidently wasn't in charge tonight.

The two of them mingled with all sorts of groups throughout the night. After acquainting themselves with almost everybody in the room, they hung back and talked alone. "Want to go outside for some fresh air?" Chandler suggested. At Monica's quirked eyebrow, Chandler grinned. "It's really just fresh air, I promise. I quit smoking for good." He briefly wondered if Monica knew he was smoking a pack a day for three or four months after they broke up.

"Okay," Monica agreed. "Let me just let Ryan know. I'll meet you out there in a minute."

True to her word, she was outside less than two minutes later, holding a freshly filled glass of red wine. She joined Chandler on a nearby bench. "So you finally decided to quit the job you hated and work in a field you actually enjoy. What made you take the leap?"

"What makes you think I enjoy this job?"

She gazed into his eyes. "I saw the way your face lit up when you talked about your position to your coworkers. You can't fool me, Chandler Bing."

"Fine, fine. Yes, I really do enjoy what I do now. One day I just got sick of the day to day grind. I wasn't happy with anything in my life, so I decided I could at least change one thing. The pay is about a third of what I used to make, but it's just me, so it doesn't matter." He grinned at her. "What about you?"

"I'm working at the same job I was before. Nothing new on that front," Monica laughed. "Although I've been exploring lots of hobbies lately. There's this outdoor day music festival thing I wanted to go to. Nobody wants to go with me, not even Phoebe. I'm thinking of going alone. Hopefully I can learn to be happy doing things by myself."

"I'll go with you," Chandler said without thinking. "I mean, if you want me to. If the learning how to be happy by yourself thing doesn't work out," he backtracked. "As friends," he decided to clarify.

Monica grinned from ear to ear. Her face felt hot. She hoped it was just from the wine. "Sounds like a plan," she said. "Call me and we can work out details."

Chandler agreed, and they started a conversation about Joey's new job. She didn't know exactly when it happened, but at some point she found her hand was resting on his. Instead of pulling it away, she smiled shyly up at him. "I missed this," she told him.

That was definitely the open bar talking.

He squeezed her hand and grinned. "I missed this too. Actually, Mon, I-" He stopped and looked behind her. "You should probably go back to your boyfriend now," he muttered.

"My what?" Monica asked, surprised at the interruption. At Chandler's face, she turned around and saw Ryan. He didn't look too happy.

All of a sudden, it dawned on her how rude she had been. She came with her boyfriend to his office party, then proceeded to spend the entire night with another man.

"You're right, I'd better go," Monica said, getting up quickly. "See you around, Chandler." She was about to squeeze his shoulder, but stopped herself as she saw Ryan still glaring at her.

When she reached Ryan, he looked at his watch and said, "Let's go."

"We were only talking," Monica said feebly. It was a weak excuse even to herself.

The car ride home was silent. Monica was ashamed of how she had acted, but she was even more ashamed because she didn't regret it. She had way more fun that night than she ever would have with Ryan.

When they reached Monica's apartment door, Ryan finally spoke. "So who's going to do this? You or me?"

Monica sighed. "I'd better do it. Let's go inside."

* * *

**Author's Note: **Finally a more happy chapter! Don't get too excited yet, though. The angst part of this story isn't going away for good. I hope you enjoyed how I wrote them together!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own FRIENDS.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Rachel stopped by Monica's apartment early the next morning with Emma in tow. Monica was standing in the kitchen, stirring a bowl and humming a happy tune. "What's for breakfast?" she asked, sniffing the air.

"Blueberry pancakes!" Monica announced, beaming.

"You look chipper," Rachel said, staring at her friend suspiciously. "What did you get up to last night?"

Monica turned on the stovetop and got out her best frying pan from the cupboard. "Not much," she giggled. "Well, Ryan and I broke up last night."

"Well, that _is _good news," Rachel replied sarcastically. She plopped herself down at the kitchen table. "Why? What happened? Did he turn out to be a jerk?"

Pouring the pancake batter into the pan, Monica giggled again. "Um no, not exactly. I was kinda the one who was a jerk." She glanced at Rachel. She knew exactly how Rachel would react to this news, but she was too excited to care. "I went to Ryan's office party last night, and I, uhhh, met this guy there. We just had such a connection. We ended up talking throughout the entire party." Monica was glowing from just retelling the events of last night.

Looking at her friend's obvious joy, Rachel smiled softly. She liked Ryan, but she hadn't seen Monica so happy in years. Not since … Well, that didn't matter now. Monica was finally moving on. "That's incredible! So when are you going to see him again? Where's he taking you for your first date?"

At the mention of a date, Monica immediately spun around and busied herself with the pancakes. "I'm not sure if dating is such a good idea right now," she mumbled.

"Why not? It sounds like you really hit it off with this guy. You owe it to yourself to give it a real chance."

"Well, I was thinking we could just be friends," Monica said. She was talking so quietly Rachel had to strain to hear. She briefly reconsidered telling Rachel what had really happened, but Rachel needed to know why Monica was doing this, even if she didn't understand.

"Why?" Rachel's frustration was beginning to show.

"It's complicated, Rach," Monica admitted, facing the other woman again. "I'm just not so sure dating him is a good idea." After this, she lost her nerve and buried her face in her cooking. "You know, after our failed wedding and everything." This last sentence was uttered more quietly than the rest. Rachel didn't respond for a few moments, and Monica wondered if she had heard her.

Rachel calmly got up and carried Emma to the guest room. She shut the door quietly before walking back into the kitchen. All of a sudden, Rachel slammed her palm on the table. "Chandler?" she shouted. "CHANDLER?"

The cups on the shelves shook with the volume. Monica winced. Now the entire floor was awake if they weren't already. Except for Joey.

"Monica, what are you doing? You spend all this time trying to get over Chandler just to fall back in his arms the first time you see him?"

Monica placed a plate of pancakes in front of Rachel, hoping to placate her. "Like I said, I'm not going to date him. I just miss his friendship."

Folding her arms, Rachel glared at her. "You said there was a _connection_. You broke up with your boyfriend for him."

"That's not true," Monica defended. "I just … I broke up with Ryan because I didn't have a connection with him. And I realized that if I could find that connection in a good friend, I didn't need a boyfriend anyway."

Rachel sniffed the air again. "Are you smelling the bullshit too, or is that just me?"

"Rach, please. I know you don't understand. But Chandler and I … We were best friends for ten years. And then one day he's just gone. I went from seeing him every day to not even seeing him on holidays!" Tears started to form in her eyes. "Can't you at least empathize with that? It almost happened to you and Ross!" She paused to wipe her eyes. "I can lose boyfriends, but I can't lose Chandler. Not again."

Seeing Monica's tears started to soften Rachel, but then she remembered how hard losing Chandler had been the first time. "No, Monica. I can't just stand by and watch you make such a huge mistake." She got up with her plate of pancakes and went to the guest room to retrieve her daughter. With the pancakes in one hand and Emma cradled in her other arm, Rachel turned to leave. "I'm taking these to go! And you'd better hope Ross doesn't find out about this!" With that, she stalked out the door. It slammed shut.

Monica sighed. That had gone about as well as she expected, but she was glad it was over. She had just gotten settled in with her own plate of pancakes when the phone rang. When she picked it up, the voice on the other end of the line spoke first.

"Is it too soon to call?" the voice asked. "To iron out the details of the day festival, I mean. I just thought it's better to make plans sooner rather than later, you know."

Monica smiled. "It's a great time to call. Is there a coffeehouse near your place?"

* * *

Rachel had taken her plate of pancakes across the hall to Joey's. "Can't she see what a gigantic mistake she's making?" she complained to her daughter. "Doesn't she remember how it all went down before?"

She took a big bite and chewed thoughtfully. It wasn't like she was _against _Chandler. She just wasn't sure if any of them could survive if things didn't work out with him and Monica a second time.

In the breakup, of course Monica got Rachel. But that didn't mean Rachel never saw Chandler. In the past two years, she came to visit him sometimes with Joey and Phoebe. Every time she visited, she brought Emma. She wanted to give him the one connection to Ross she could. Of course Ross grumbled about it, but she always told him she would stop taking Emma the minute Ross said so. He would just grumble more and say, "Well, I guess it's not hurting anybody." Although he would never say it out loud, Rachel knew Ross missed his former best friend. Once in a blue moon, she would meet Chandler for lunch like she used to. And she made sure he received the first official Geller-Green Christmas card last year.

But things were never the same.

Chandler could tell Rachel still blamed him for what happened between him and Monica. But how could he hold it against Rachel? Once you've had to drag your best friend into the shower and force her to eat a piece of toast (and then later, stop her from eating the whole loaf), it was hard to look at the guy who broke her heart the same way. Monica was such a mess, it wasn't a question of Rachel moving back into her apartment. She lived with her for about a year, throughout her entire pregnancy and a tiny bit after. Both Monica's mental health and Ross and Rachel's relationship stabilized enough for Rachel to move into Ross' apartment when Emma was three months old.

It wasn't only Monica's worst breakup because she had loved Chandler the most out of any of her boyfriends. It was also because she lost so much of her support system.

People called Rachel self-absorbed and oblivious to her friends' problems, but she wasn't. At least not all the time. She noticed what a strong connection Monica shared with the guy across the hall long before they started dating. She still remembered one night not long after Monica broke up with Richard. Monica was inconsolable. In a desperate attempt to make things better, Rachel set up comedy movies and made margaritas. It seemed to make Monica feel a little better. She was smiling a little more and even laughed at a few jokes. But she still looked absolutely miserable.

Rachel had stroked her best friend's hair. "What can I do, Mon?"

Monica thought for a second. "Can you get Chandler for me?"

She remembered it surprised her at the time. She knew they were close, but not that close. When she brought Chandler over, he took Monica out to the balcony. Rachel watched through the window. Within just a few minutes, he had Monica laughing at some stupid jokes he was probably making. They talked a bit more, and Monica looked so at ease. They shared a long hug. Rachel was stunned at how tightly Monica was clinging to him.

Once they returned back to the apartment, Monica was grinning. Rachel couldn't believe it. She remembered feeling mostly jealousy at the time. Why couldn't Rachel make Monica feel better like Chandler could? But looking back, that was the first time she had really noticed how much Monica depended on Chandler.

There was no Chandler to pick her up after he left her at the altar. Rachel did the best she could. Sometimes it worked, and sometimes it failed. Her mind stopped on a memory. It was a week after the failed wedding, she guessed. Monica was buried in Rachel's arms on the couch. She had no more tears to cry for that night. Her blue eyes stared dully at the wall. "Chandler's really gone, isn't he?" she blurted out. "He's not coming back?"

Rachel stroked her hair just like she did after Richard. "No sweetie," she whispered. "I don't think he's coming back."

"But Chandler has always been here."

Rachel didn't know what to say to that, so she hugged her closer.

In Joey's living room in the present day, Rachel finished up her pancakes. She was still deep in thought. She knew Monica wasn't the only one completely destroyed by their breakup. Chandler still seemed like he was in love with Monica. She still didn't think them hanging out together was a good idea, but another part of her started getting excited at the prospect of her two friends being happy together again.

Emma let out a giggle and Rachel smiled back. Maybe this would all work out.

* * *

**Author's Note: **I originally intended for this chapter to have a lot more Monica/Chandler interaction, but it didn't work out for this chapter. There's still backstory I need to set up. That will come piece by piece. Next chapter will have tons of Mondler, I promise! I know so far the focus has been on Monica's feelings after the breakup. I'm not ignoring Chandler's after-breakup sorrow, but that needs to come about in its own time.

Thanks to everybody who has reviewed, followed, and faved this story so far! I really appreciate it, and it keeps me writing!

Just a side note, but while I've been writing this, I keep thinking what a gold standard Mondler set for TV couples. I seriously can't think of any other show that can have two characters get together mid-series and have it be so seamless and natural. You could see they were perfect for each other since season one. It makes me feel kinda bad for breaking them up. Maybe I'll write a happier Mondler story after this one. Let me know if you're interested!

**Disclaimer:** Still don't own FRIENDS.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Monica leaned back on the bench and let the sun hit her face. It was the perfect weather to take a walk in Central Park. It wasn't too hot or humid, and there was a light breeze. Her hair tickled her neck. The soft touch was nice. She stole a glance at Chandler.

He was leaning back on the bench too, his eyes closed. She couldn't help but smile to herself. Sleepy Chandler always looked so cute. Just as she was about to tuck a stray tuft of hair off his forehead, he opened his eyes and stared up at her.

"Are you trying to catch me asleep again?" he teased, grinning at her.

"Never." Monica laughed. "It's just … This is nice. I really did miss having you as a always did make better friends than lovers." She tried to spin it as a joke, but Chandler didn't laugh. She looked at him for a sarcastic reply, but he just stared at her. He actually looked sort of hurt.

Uh oh. Monica thought of something to backtrack, but also something that wouldn't make Chandler think she wanted to be lovers again. Before she could think of anything, Chandler spoke first.

"It is nice. It's pretty awesome that Ryan's cool with it. I don't think I would be." He spoke quieter than usual.

Monica picked at a loose thread on her yellow floral dress. "Yeah, well, Ryan's a cool guy. We should all hang out sometime."

"A lovely evening with my boss and my ex-fiancee. I couldn't think of anything I'd rather do more," Chandler quipped.

She stuck her tongue out at him. They'd been hanging out for two weeks now, pretty much immediately after her breakup with Ryan. She still hadn't told Chandler that she wasn't with Ryan anymore. It just felt safer to have that barrier between them.

"You know, it's a miracle Ross hasn't come around to kick my ass yet," Chandler remarked, interrupting Monica's thoughts. He smirked at her, and she laughed. She noticed how nonchalantly his arm was draped across the bench. Her first instinct was to lean against his shoulder, but she paused. Did friends cuddle? When they were just friends before, it was the most natural thing in the world to lean against Chandler. To feel his arm casually slung around her shoulder. It was as natural as breathing.

But the rules were different now. She sat up straighter and shifted slightly so that her back was facing away from his arm. "He's been too busy with all the wedding stuff to kick your ass right now. Wait until he's back from his honeymoon," she teased.

At the mention of Ross' wedding, Chandler visibly deflated. Monica immediately realized her mistake. She put her hand on his and began rubbing circles on it.

"He misses you too, you know," she told him softly. "He had to replace the empty groomsman spot with Mike, and it's been kind of awkward." He seemed to perk up a little at this. Monica smiled and continued rubbing circles on his skin. "Besides, you've already been there for his first three weddings. You're not missing anything you haven't seen before."

"Yeah well, that's easy for you to say," he grumbled. "Two of my best friends for years, and I'll be lucky if I get wedding pictures."

Monica looked at him sympathetically. Her fingers stilled on his. "He's softening, Chandler. He just needs a little more time."

"I did manage to win you over, so I guess anything is possible," Chandler quipped. Monica laughed despite herself and hit him on the shoulder.

* * *

While Chandler was making photocopies at work the next day, Ryan stopped in front of his office and beckoned him over. "If you have a few minutes, Chandler, there's something I'd like to discuss."

Chandler gulped. He thought he had been doing a great job, and he was really hoping his intern position would lead to long-term employment. He reluctantly followed his boss into his office and sat down in the chair across from his desk.

During Chandler's mental anguish, Ryan shuffled some papers and placed them neatly in the left-hand corner of his desk. _Maybe his incredible organizational skills are what attracted him to Monica_, Chandler thought.

Ryan clasped his hands together and fixed Chandler with a steady gaze. "I'm sure by now you've probably heard about our breakup. Monica told me everything. I understand that she was engaged to you, and when that ended badly, it took a long time for her to heal. Well, I can't compete with that. I'm not going to stand in the way of other people's relationships."

This was the last thing Chandler was expecting to hear. _Wait, Monica broke up with Ryan? Does this mean she might still want me?_ _And when did this happen? It doesn't sound like it happened yesterday._ His thoughts were racing around his mind as Ryan continued to stare into his soul.

"Umm, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get in the way," Chandler responded lamely.

"Well, I didn't call you in here to talk about failed relationships." Ryan sat up straighter in his chair. "I understand this whole debacle might make you nervous about your position in this company. And I just wanted to reassure you that I'm not the kind of guy to let a promising employee go because of a bruised ego," he said, smiling slightly. "I like having you here, Chandler. And while of course it's too soon to be official, there's a good chance you'll be offered a permanent position once your internship ends."

A wide grin spread over Chandler's face. "Thank you, sir," he said. He couldn't believe his luck. "I really appreciate it."

"You can go back to your work now," Ryan replied, nodding towards the door. Just as Chandler was about to leave, he stopped him. "Oh, and there's just one more thing."

Chandler smiled. "What's that?"

Ryan stared into his soul again. "If I hear any rumors in the office about which one of us is more … _satisfying _in bed, I will have no choice but to terminate your role in this company, effective immediately."

At this, Chandler almost fell into the door. His face turned a pasty white. "Uhhh … Ummm, well …"

His boss broke into a grin. "Just kidding. I couldn't resist. Man, the look on your face was priceless. I wish I snapped a picture."

* * *

As Chandler knocked on the door of Apartment 20, he realized how weird it felt. He couldn't recall a time when he'd ever needed to knock on the door before. He always used to walk in, long before he even started to live there. He took a deep breath as he heard footsteps. He hoped it was Monica who answered the door.

While the door opened, he saw a flash of blonde hair. "Mike, I told you to-" She stopped as she saw the man on the other side of the threshold. "Oh. It's just Chandler," she announced behind her, sounding disappointed.

"Hey, Pheebs," he grinned at her. "I'm just here to pick up Monica. We're going out to lunch. Or is it brunch?"

Phoebe looked him up and down, then walked away into the living room. "Why are you just standing there like a weirdo?" she asked from behind her shoulder. "Aren't you going to come in?"

Cautiously, Chandler entered the apartment. Phoebe sat herself on one end of the couch, and Rachel was sitting in the chair, glowering at him. He could see Emma sitting on the floor, playing with her toys.

Deciding the best place to sit was on the other side of the couch, Chandler sat down gingerly and greeted Rachel. She responded with a stiff "hi". Soon enough, Chandler was beginning to suffocate in the stifling silence. Nobody spoke a word for at least five minutes. He was comfortable enough around Rachel and Phoebe, but the atmosphere of Monica's apartment felt completely different.

He made eye contact with Emma and smiled at her. She giggled. For a moment, he considered leaving the adults and playing on the floor with better company, but he didn't want to incite Mama Bear Rachel.

How long did it take to get ready for lunch? His eyes bore holes into Monica's bedroom door. At this point, he wanted nothing more than to escape that apartment and avoid his friends' judging eyes.

"I told Monica this whole thing was a bad idea," Rachel announced suddenly. "I still think this is probably going to blow up in all our faces like it did last time. But she looks happier than she has in ages. So this is the last time I'll say anything about it." She looked deep into Chandler's eyes and he stared back, not daring to blink. "We're willing to welcome you back here with open arms, Chandler. But you have to be _sure _this is what you want. I'll never forgive you if you hurt her again."

"Yeah, never," Phoebe echoed.

Chandler smiled at his friends. "I'm not going anywhere, I promise. I'll stay here as long as she'll have me."

He could see Rachel soften a little. "Good," she replied, a smile beginning to form on her face. "We'll hold you to it, then."

Monica walked into the living room and smiled at him. "Ready to go?" she asked.

"Yeah, let's get going. I'm starving."

Chandler followed Monica out into the hallway, but paused outside the door. "What's wrong?" she asked him.

He rubbed his head. This had been on his mind for a couple days now, and he just needed to get it out. "Look Mon, I know about your breakup with Ryan. And I get why you didn't tell me. But I just wanted you to know it doesn't change anything with us."

Monica gasped. "Did Phoebe tell you? I told her to keep quiet!"

"No, my boss told me." At the look of confusion on her face, he gave her a pointed look.

Realization spread over her face. "Ohhhh," she said, laughing. "I hope things at your work won't be awkward now."

He grinned. "No, you were right about Ryan. He is a pretty cool guy."

"That's good." Suddenly, her smile faltered. "So when you said this doesn't change anything with us …"

"I'm here to be your friend, Mon. I'm not going to make a move on you or anything," he told her, looking into her bright blue eyes. _Unless you want me to_, he thought.

She smiled at him gratefully. "Thank you, Chandler," she whispered. They stared into each other's eyes for a moment, then Monica blinked and turned away. "Come on, let's get lunch! I thought you were starving!"

Chandler smiled to himself and followed her. He could be her friend. He _needed _to just be her friend. If he had to, he would do it for the rest of his life.

* * *

**Author's Note: **How long do you think the just friends thing will last? I'm not completely sure how long I'm going to make this story. My guess is around 15 chapters? I don't want things to drag on too long, but also there's a lot of stuff I want to cover.

Also, I'm pretty excited. This is looking like it's going to be my most popular story on here. Thank you to everybody who contributed to making that possible!

**Disclaimer:** Still don't own FRIENDS. Probably don't need to do this every chapter, but it would look weird if I stopped now.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"For the last time, he's not coming. I don't want him there."

Ross sat on the couch in the apartment he shared with Rachel (formerly Ugly Naked Guy's apartment) with his arms crossed and a scowl on his face. Joey sat across from him, and Rachel was sitting beside him, patting his knee in an attempt to calm him down.

"Well honey, I want him there," Rachel replied. "And it's my wedding too."

"I'm not getting married, but I want him there too," Joey piped up.

His scowl getting deeper, Ross slunk further down the couch. "I let him into my family. I gave him a place to stay when his own family didn't care. And how does he repay me? By betraying my sister. Betraying my trust."

Rachel smiled at her fiance and squeezed his knee. "We know what he did. But if Monica can forgive him, why can't you? She's so happy having him back in her life. And I know how hard it's been on you not having him around."

"I just want to go to one Knicks game with the two of you again! It's been killing my bank account having you on alternating schedules!" Joey cried out.

Ross threw up his arms. "Well, what if I did invite him and things don't work out with Monica? It's still so new. He hasn't even been back in her life for a month yet. We have no idea if it's gonna last. It would just be weird having some guy we don't talk to anymore in our wedding pictures!"

"But Ross, what if it does work out?" Rachel countered. "How would you feel if Chandler became your best friend again and he wasn't there for one of the most important days of your life?"

This question seemed to stump Ross. He was quiet for a few moments. With each passing moment, Rachel's face turned more and more triumphant. Eventually, he crossed his arms again and glared at his current foes.

"Well Joey, you have a plus one. Why don't you use it?" he spat out.

Joey's brow furrowed. "Yeah, I already told you I was planning on taking this hot new-" He paused to look at Rachel's face full of glee and finally understood. "Ohhhh. You're saying I can take Chandler!" His face lit up like he was just about to eat a custom-made meatball sub. "Man, this is awesome! Maybe we can find matching suits!"

Rachel smiled at Ross and kissed his cheek softly. Knowing not to push her fiance any more on the subject, she started telling them about the hottest staples in men's fashion for the upcoming season.

It was only after Joey left that she brought it up again. She came back into the living room after putting Emma to bed and curled up on the couch beside Ross. She peppered his face with kisses and gazed into his eyes lovingly. "You made the right decision, honey."

Ross merely grunted, but Rachel could tell he was fighting back a smile.

She handed him a picture he hadn't noticed she was holding. "I found this earlier when I was packing up Emma's old clothes in the closet."

Ross glanced at the picture. He jolted a bit at seeing what it was. The edges were faded and a little beat up, but the picture itself was still in fairly good condition. It was taken at his wedding with Carol. Ross and Chandler were dressed in their best suits, grinning at the camera like idiots. They both held glasses of champagne. How old were they then? Twenty-one, twenty-two? They looked so confident in the belief that they were going to take on the world together. And for a while they did.

He smiled at young Ross and Chandler. Pulling Rachel closer, he kissed the side of her head. "We did have a lot of fun back then," he admitted.

* * *

Monica finally allowed herself to erupt into peals of laughter as she followed Chandler into his apartment. "That was one of the worst things I've ever seen," she gasped out.

"I don't know. I quite enjoyed the incredibly poor acting and delivery, myself." Chandler grinned at her.

"Don't forget the terrible writing!" Monica fell onto his couch and continued laughing.

Chandler had taken her to an amateur play (amateur was an understatement, as it turned out). He was hoping it would remind her of the group going to Joey's terrible plays back when he was still a struggling actor. He used to make eye contact with her during a particularly painful scene. Her face would always be desperately trying to hold back laughter. He would pull ridiculous faces to try and make her burst out in the middle of the theater, and she would look away quickly to avoid doing just that.

"It feels good to see a bad performance and be allowed to tell somebody what I really think," Monica told him, as if she was reading his thoughts. "Don't tell Joey I said that," she said, winking.

"And have him write us both out of his will? Never." Chandler sat on the couch beside Monica, but he made sure to put some distance between them. He glanced at her and smiled to himself. She looked so beautiful when she was laughing. Her blue eyes shone with mirth and her cheeks were flushed. Unconsciously, he slid a few centimeters closer to her. "Want to watch some TV?"

She laughed again, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. "It would be nice to see something with halfway decent acting," she agreed.

He turned on the TV to some comedy show and they began watching in silence. By the time the episode was halfway over, Monica was cuddled into his side. _We used to do this all the time_, he reminded himself._ It doesn't mean anything. _He struggled to keep his arm resting above her head and not curled around her body. She smelled especially good today. God, this was torture. He tried his hardest to forget about the woman beside him and focus on the TV.

Monica buried her face in his shoulder. Did she just sniff him? He inwardly groaned. When he looked down at her, she was staring up at his face with a hunger he was used to seeing only in his dreams. "Chandler …" she whispered. Before he could even react, her lips were on his. She was moving gently, yet with insistence. Chandler returned the kiss with fervor. He opened his mouth to allow her tongue to slip in, and she accepted the invitation eagerly.

Now she was in his lap. Her hands roamed all over his chest, but she kept them over his shirt. He let out a tiny moan. Everything was on fire. He had a desperate urge to remove as many of their clothes as possible. But Monica broke the kiss and pulled away. She was still in his lap, and the hunger in her eyes hadn't gone away.

"This is a bad idea. I should go home now," she murmured, looking like the last thing she wanted to do was leave.

Chandler gripped her wrist and stared into her hungry eyes. "Or you could stay." She looked unsure. To prove to her he wasn't just after sex, he gave her his boyish grin. "We don't have to do anything if you don't want to. We can just talk. I missed you, Mon. I want to do this again for real." He wondered later if she might have stayed, if only he had stopped talking there. Of course, he didn't. He blamed it on those vulnerable blue eyes staring at him. "I want to be your boyfriend again," he whispered.

He may as well have doused cold water on her. At the mention of "boyfriend", Monica leaped up off the couch. She patted down her hair and paced in front of him. "I, ummm … That's not …" she stammered. Then she stopped pacing and pointed at him accusingly. "You said you weren't going to make a move on me!"

"That was before you jumped me!" he defended.

Monica avoided his gaze. "This is just too much right now. I need to go home and think about everything."

He stood up and gazed at her softly. He wanted to run his fingers down her cheek, but decided it wasn't the best move right now. "I'm not going anywhere this time, Mon." She just looked even more distressed. Deciding to switch tactics, he adopted his boyish grin again. "Come on, you don't think I'm boyfriend material?"

Tears started to pool in her eyes. They rolled down her cheeks, and she made no move to stop them. "No, you're Chandler," she choked. She left without another word.

Chandler was left alone in his living room. For the ten millionth time in the past two years, he wondered how he had screwed everything up so badly.

* * *

**Author's Note: **And the drama is back! I'm surprised how fast I've been writing this story. I can't promise every chapter will come out this fast, but I'll try. I'm planning on making the next chapter pretty painful, so I thought I'd warn you!

**Disclaimer: **I still don't own any part of FRIENDS.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"And I haven't seen him for a week. What was he thinking, asking to be my boyfriend? Everything was going so well," Monica sniffled, finally getting a chance to tell her four friends what happened between her and Chandler.

Ross nudged Rachel and whispered in her ear. "We really picked a great time to invite Chandler to our wedding." She elbowed him and turned to Monica.

"Sweetie, did you really think you would stay just friends with him forever? There's too much history there to just sweep it under the rug."

Monica shrugged miserably. "I don't know, Rach. I just wanted to be around him as much as possible."

"Do you think you could forgive him one day? Enough to get back in a relationship with him?" Phoebe questioned, biting her thumbnail.

"I don't know," Monica repeated, looking agitated. "God, why is this so hard?"

Joey tried to listen to the discussion, but his thoughts kept returning to Chandler's sad hotel room from two years ago. He hated thinking about that time, but Monica's words brought it all back.

It couldn't have been more than two weeks after their failed wedding. Joey was doing the best he could to comfort Chandler, but there wasn't much comfort to be found. At least Chandler was the most sober he'd been since the wedding date. "Hey, you can move back in with me!" Joey said, his face lighting up. It wouldn't be the same, but that would cheer Chandler up.

Chandler had just stared at Joey. When Joey started to look confused, Chandler sighed. "Have you forgotten who lives across the hall from you, Joey?"

"Oh." Joey supposed that wouldn't work after all. "Well, we can get a new apartment together. That would be awesome!"

But that didn't seem to make Chandler feel better either. "No," he answered eventually. "Don't listen to what I said before. You need to be there for Monica. And I need to just not be around for a while."

"No, Chandler. I'm not just gonna leave you. You need me," he insisted.

"I fucked this up. I don't get to have people by my side. Monica deserves everything good. I can't give her that, but you can." He looked seriously into Joey's eyes. "Be her friend. Pick her up when she's down. You can still be my friend, Joe, but you have to put her first. Do it for me."

"I won't even see you at Central Perk?"

"No."

"Wow," Joey breathed out. "I can't believe we won't see each other every day."

"Yeah." Chandler smiled sadly. "It's the end of an era."

Joey was jolted back to the present by Monica's sniffling. "Do you really think he'll screw this up again?" he asked quietly.

Monica blinked. Joey had been quiet for so long she hadn't expected him to speak. "No … I don't know," she eventually admitted.

"I know he won't. Everything he's done has been for you, Monica."

Her eyes met Joey's in shock. And suspicion. "What do you mean?"

Suddenly realizing there were other people in the room, Joey looked around and cleared his throat. "Uhhh … There's stuff I never told you before, Monica. Stuff about Chandler. I think it'll help you make your decision." He turned to the others. "Hey guys, could you give us some privacy? I don't think I should be telling all of you."

"Why don't you two just go across the hall to your place?" Rachel asked. "We'll still be here whenever you come back." She didn't want to miss any upcoming developments.

Joey thought for a second, then nodded. "Okay, that'll work. Come with me," he motioned to Monica, and she followed him across the hall to his apartment. She sat down on one of the bar stools.

Joey grinned, but it didn't look especially joyous. "You can sit on the couch, you know. It's not a short story."

"I'm too jittery," Monica replied. "Just tell me what you need to tell me."

"Okay." Joey took a deep breath. "Do you remember when you asked me about Chandler? You only asked me once. It was pretty soon after the breakup, and you wanted to know how he was doing. And remember when I said he was still in his sweatpants phase?"

"Yes," Monica said.

"Well, that wasn't really true. I didn't want to tell you the truth then, because I didn't want to hurt you. But you need to hear it now. So here goes."

* * *

Joey didn't mean to stay away for so long. He saw Chandler briefly the night of what was supposed to be his wedding to drop some stuff off. He told Chandler he would come back when he could, but he was still too angry and Monica was too needy for him to leave her alone.

He tried to come back sooner, he really did. But every time he tried, one of the girls would pull him into Apartment 20 and give him a new task to do. Somehow he was dragged into writing notes for the wedding guests. And Monica was a nightmare. He knew she was hurting, but damn. She kept bringing up how Joey was late to the wedding and how he didn't even come dressed up for the occasion. He wanted to point out that at least he had showed up, unlike _somebody_, but he bit his tongue. Even when she was riding his ass, she was still one of his best friends and he hated seeing her in pain.

They never talked about it, but he always suspected the real reason she was so mad at him was because he was Chandler's best friend.

By the time he was finally able to get away and see Chandler, five days had passed since the day of the wedding.

Joey obviously didn't expect Chandler to look _good_, but he was completely unprepared for the sight that met him in Chandler's hotel room. When Chandler opened the door, he stood there in his boxers with a cigarette dangling in his mouth. He was holding a half-empty whiskey bottle in one hand and an unlit cigarette in the other. Joey gagged at the stench of him. He definitely hadn't showered since the day of the wedding.

Chandler stood in the doorway and looked Joey up and down. "Nice of you to finally show up," he drawled. He moved aside slightly, and Joey took that as his invitation to come in. Joey scanned the room quickly. It was a disaster. There were empty beer bottles everywhere he looked, a few empty liquor bottles, and about a billion cigarette butts stuffed into the aforementioned beer bottles.

Taking control of the situation, Joey started picking up the beer bottles. "Dude, we gotta get you cleaned up," he told his best friend. Joey was worried about him. He'd never seen him look this bad before.

"For what?" Chandler laughed harshly.

Joey just shook his head. "Come on, man. I hate seeing you like this."

Instead of replying, Chandler opened another beer and threw himself down on the bed. Joey sat down beside him, not knowing what to say. Finally, Chandler threw a glance at him from the corner of his eye. "Are you going to abandon me like Ross did?"

"You know I'd never do that," Joey protested, rubbing the back of his neck in discomfort.

"Why not?" Chandler laughed again, this laugh even worse than the last one. "Everybody else did. Even you did for a while." They were silent for a long time. Chandler was laying on the bed, his arm over his face. "But I don't blame you," he said eventually. It was quiet and sounded kind of broken. "I destroyed the best thing that ever happened to me. How could anybody ever love me after that?"

Joey flopped on the bed next to Chandler. Neither man looked at the other. "I love you," Joey told him. For the first time in his life, he wasn't worried about sounded gay for making a comment like that. He was only focused on comforting a friend.

Chandler didn't respond to this either, but he kicked Joey's foot. Joey grinned and kicked him back.

After that night, it was touch and go for Chandler. He returned to work when he was supposed to, but that only meant the drinking was delayed for eight hours every day. Joey knew he wasn't eating right, so he always brought two sandwiches with him to visit Chandler. It was easier to get him to eat when he had company.

Despite Chandler's comments about staying away for a while, he got needy when he was drunk. Joey became used to calls around three or four in the morning. He still clearly remembered the first time it happened. Joey had answered the phone grumpily. Somehow he didn't have to guess who was on the other line.

"Dude, it's 4 AM," Joey said.

"Monica doesn't love me anymore," Chandler slurred.

Joey sighed. "Of course she does," he replied. He went on to comfort his best friend until Chandler started to calm down. The late night phone calls pretty much went exactly the same way for one or two nights a week.

Finally, Joey reached his breaking point. Chandler may have been getting marginally better, but he was still drinking and smoking way too much. And not taking care of himself. No matter how many bottles Joey poured down the sink, Chandler would find more alcohol. After three months of this, Joey forced him to start therapy. Chandler was reluctant at first, but Joey was adamant. He told his best friend he couldn't keep sitting by and watching him slowly kill himself. If Chandler didn't start going to therapy, he really would lose Joey's friendship.

So Chandler went. The change was gradual at first, but Joey could see it was really helping. Chandler's therapist worked with him to develop healthy coping mechanisms, which he never really learned to develop due to his crappy childhood.

Joey couldn't truthfully say Chandler was happy, but he was calmer. He was beginning to be at peace with his demons. It was a long road that he was still traveling, but he was getting healthy again.

He just wished Chandler had more friends. He brought Rachel and Phoebe with him to visit whenever he could. And they still cared about him and made an effort to see him occasionally. But he knew most days, Chandler's only friend was Joey. Only three people (including Chandler's parents) called Chandler on his birthday, and only one person actually spent time with him on his birthday (not Chandler's parents).

But Chandler seemed to be doing okay whenever he was around Joey. There were even times where it looked like he was starting to get over Monica. These periods never lasted long, and Joey didn't really expect them to. Joey believed in a lot of things, but he didn't believe Chandler would ever really get over Monica. One incident in particular stuck in Joey's mind whenever he thought of the matter.

It was during another 4 AM phone call. By this point, Chandler had been attending therapy for about three months. The late night phone calls were reduced to one or twice a month instead of once or twice a week. Like he always did, Joey answered the phone groggily and waited for Chandler to speak.

"I did something crazy today," Chandler announced.

This immediately aroused Joey's suspicions. "How crazy?" he asked carefully.

"I met a guy who's perfect for Monica," he blurted. Joey's eyebrows shot up at this sentence, but he waited for Chandler to continue. "So I did some probing and I found out he was single. Once I found out he was open to it, I convinced Phoebe to set Monica up on a blind date with him. Phoebe wanted nothing to do with at first, but I told her how good it would be for Monica. I told her exactly what to say to convince her to go. Of course I made her promise not to tell Monica I had anything to do with it. And Phoebe called me and told me Monica agreed. They're going out this Friday," Chandler rambled. He was so full of adrenaline it was hard to tell what he was feeling.

Joey blinked a few times in shock. Eventually, he let out a huge sigh. "Chandler, that's fucking insane. Why would you do that to yourself?"

"I don't want her to move on," he admitted quietly. "I want her to love me and want to be with me. But it kills me to think that maybe she's feeling as bad as I am. It hurts all the time, Joe," Chandler admitted, his voice breaking. "And Monica doesn't deserve to hurt. So she should move on and be happy."

"I can't wait to hear what your therapist will say about this," Joey muttered under his breath. He tried to gently tell his friend what a terrible idea that was. But he couldn't help wondering if he would ever love anybody that much.

Needless to say, Chandler's therapist wasn't exactly thrilled about what he did. They went back over healthy coping mechanisms and strategies. And Chandler never did anything like that again.

But it did end up helping Monica. She never went on more than a few dates with that guy, but he gave her a newfound confidence in herself. A hope that she might find happiness again one day.

It broke Chandler's heart all over again. But he wouldn't hesitate to do it again if he knew it would make her smile.

* * *

By the time Joey was finished, Monica was bawling. She glared at him with accusing eyes. "Why didn't you tell me any of this before?" she demanded.

"Would you have listened?" Joey countered. He knew she had been hurting as badly as Chandler was, and she was in no place to deal with Chandler's pain as well.

She didn't answer, and he took that as her admitting he was right. "I have to see him," she announced, standing up abruptly.

For the first time all day, Joey let out a genuine grin. "I hope you two crazy kids work it out," he told her sincerely. She just smiled at him through tears and left.

When she reached Chandler's apartment, she pounded on the door. "I know you're in here!" she called. "Open up!"

A confused Chandler opened the door, and Monica jumped on him, wrapping her arms tightly around his body. "I'm here now," she whispered in his ear. "I'm not going anywhere." She gazed up into his eyes and smiled softly, reaching up to stroke his hair.

He stepped back a little. "Mon, what are you doing?" he asked.

She responded by leaning into him and kissing him gently. It was sweeter than the kiss they'd shared last week. Chandler smelled like strawberry shampoo. He instinctively kissed her back, losing his fingers in her hair. When she pulled back for air, she grinned at him. "You're definitely boyfriend material."

Chandler returned her grin and brought her back to his lips.

* * *

**Author's Note: **I did promise you more angst, so you can't complain! I tried to add some laughs in this chapter, but there weren't many opportunities. Chandler's all over the place in the flashbacks, making a different decision every time we see him. But I think that's realistic for all breakups. Sometimes you're strong and sometimes you're weak. So I hope I captured that well! I feel like all FRIENDS fans have a soft spot in their hearts for sad vulnerable Chandler.

Once again, thank you to all my reviewers and everybody who followed and/or faved this story! I know I've been bad at replying to reviews. I promise I'll get back to all of you. I really do appreciate your support!

**Disclaimer:** Guess what I don't own? That's right, FRIENDS.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"Hey, do you want to go see a movie tonight?" Rachel asked as Monica sauntered into the kitchen.

Monica was glowing. "I can't tonight, Rach. I've got a date tonight with my boyfriend. I have a boyfriend now!" she exclaimed with joy.

Rachel smiled at her best friend's excitement, but she raised an eyebrow. "It seems to me like you've been on a date with your boyfriend every night this week," she remarked.

"Well, we have a lot of time to make up for. It's only been a week so far, you know," Monica replied, grinning at her friend. "Don't be jealous! You have me all day for last minute wedding planning."

Hearing this, Rachel slapped her hand to her forehead and groaned. "I'm getting married in eight days and there's still so much to do! I'm so glad Ross is having a daddy-daughter day with Emma today. Did you experience all this last minute stuff when you were planning your wedding?" she asked without thinking. She gasped and clapped her hand over her mouth. "I'm so sorry, Mon! I wasn't thinking."

Monica smiled wryly. "It's okay, Rach. It really is. To answer your question, there were a few last minute things I didn't anticipate. But due to my impeccable planning, I was able to solve those issues easily. The wedding probably would have gone off without a hitch if the groom had actually shown up."

Rachel looked at her carefully. "It's good that you're able to joke about it now," she said. "Things are going well with him, then?"

"Things are going amazing!" Monica gushed. "He's been whisking me away every night and sometimes during lunch on these incredible dates. Just this week, we've gone to the Met, an interactive aquarium, a candlelit dinner in the park, and live music at a dive bar. It's been so much fun. I'll kind of miss it when all this fuss dies down."

Sipping her coffee, Rachel contemplated the best way to reply. "Do you think he's doing all this stuff to try and make it up to you?"

Monica glanced down at the newspaper lying on the table. "A bit," she admitted. "But it's not just that. We've lost so much time, we just want to do everything we can together. And he's not trying to brush everything under the rug. We've been talking about it a lot."

"That's great, honey. I'm really happy for you," Rachel gave her friend a genuine smile. Then her smile turned wicked. "So how's the sex?"

The brunette whacked her friend with the newspaper. "There's no sex yet," she said. "We're taking things slow this time. Doing a lot of talking." Her face flushed when she remembered Rachel's teasing from last week. The night Monica and Chandler got back together, Monica had stayed over at his place. They had talked about everything that happened with the wedding, and the relationship as a whole, until five in the morning. After that, Monica had fallen asleep on his couch and Chandler slept in the chair beside her. Rachel immediately assumed they'd had sex, and she had laughed off Monica's protests. Now she brought up the subject of sex whenever they talked about Chandler.

"Wear your red lacy lingerie set tonight," Rachel winked knowingly.

* * *

After dinner and a slam poetry session at a bar, Monica and Chandler were heading back to Monica's apartment. Chandler was walking her to her door like a true gentleman. They both enjoyed a few drinks at the bar, and were in a happy, giggly mood. Monica was tugging Chandler's hand to her front door, laughing the whole time. When they reached her door, she put her finger to his lips and pulled him in for a kiss.

"There's something I need to confess," Monica told him, her eyes dancing with barely contained glee. "I kept it a secret from you for long enough."

Chandler grinned and pulled her in for another kiss. "You can't keep secrets from me. It's impossible," he murmured against her lips.

She giggled. "I never told anybody this. Not even Rachel." All of a sudden, a flush crept up her cheeks and she turned away from him slightly. "Even before London, I was starting to … see you differently. Around the time you were dating Kathy. I just never saw you so happy before. Of course I was happy for you, but I guess … I guess a part of me wanted you to look at me the way you looked at her," she finished in a rush, staring at the ground.

Chandler stared at her in awe. He couldn't believe how embarrassed she looked telling him this. They had almost gotten married, and she was acting like she was back in high school confessing to her crush. He brushed a lock of hair out of her face and met her eyes. "I can't believe you never told me this," he said. "How come?"

"Well, we always said everything started in London and there was nothing except friendship between us before," Monica replied. "So I just assumed that was true for you. At first, when everything was so new, I didn't want to bring it up because I was afraid you didn't feel the same about me before London. It would have been too embarrassing. I didn't want to scare you away." Monica scratched her wrist, still avoiding Chandler's gaze. "And by the time things were more serious between us and I could finally feel comfortable baring my soul to you, it seemed like such a small thing I thought it would be weird if I told you after all that time had passed."

Chandler smiled at his girlfriend's embarrassed rambling. "I have a secret to confess too," he told her, looking just as excited as Monica had earlier. "I kinda had a thing for you too." Monica gasped at this. "It was never really something I consciously knew, or thought much about. I never let myself think about it for longer than a lonely night," he explained, running his hand through his hair. "But it was there, lying dormant in the back of my mind."

"For how long?" she asked, not daring to breathe.

"I'm not sure exactly," he answered, shoving his hands in his pockets. That grin of his was making her melt. "But I guess a bit of it was there even all the way back to Kip," he admitted. "Kip kinda got on my nerves with the way he treated you sometimes. He never seemed to fully appreciate what he had."

Monica's eyes widened in shock. She was all ears. "What do you mean?" she demanded.

He shrugged. "Well, lots of things. Like your twenty-third birthday, for example. He picked out a generic department store necklace. And you know, that could be okay, but he didn't even try to find something your style. He just asked the sales lady what the most popular necklace was, and he got that one."

Monica's brow furrowed in confusion. "But he didn't get me a necklace for my birthday. He got me that yellow picture frame. You know, the one that's hanging on my front door." Chandler stayed silent, his steady gaze locked on her. Her eyes widened in understanding. She clapped her hand to her mouth. "Kip didn't pick that out for me, did he?" she asked, trembling.

"No," Chandler admitted. "It was a few months after your grandmother moved out, and you told me it still didn't feel like your home. You told me you felt something was missing. So one day I was at a thrift store with Phoebe, and I found this yellow picture frame. I thought it would be perfect in your apartment. It would brighten the place up and bring more Monica to your space." He smiled a little at her. "I was going to give it to you for your birthday with a little inscription, but then I came home and found out Kip's gift for you totally sucked."

That got Monica to chuckle. "I guess it didn't really seem like something Kip would do," she said, shaking her head.

"No, not at all." He laughed too, before continuing his story. "So I convinced him to give you the picture frame instead. I dictated what he should write on the back of it, and got everybody to sign it. It said something like, 'With people who love you-'"

"'You are always at home,'" Monica finished in a voice barely above a whisper. "That was the sweetest, most thoughtful gift anybody's ever given me. Until I started dating you."

This time it was Chandler who was looking at his feet. He looked up and smirked. "Well, it was supposed to be even more thoughtful. I found a picture of all of us - you, me, Ross, Carol, Phoebe, and Kip - and put it in the frame. But Kip took it out and replaced it with one of just you and him."

Monica giggled again. She remembered after she broke up with Kip, she threw out the photo and put the empty frame on the door. To her surprise, it was a perfect fit. She looked into Chandler's blue eyes, searching for answers. "Why didn't you tell me?"

He shrugged. "The same reason you didn't tell me how you felt about me and Kathy. Besides, you probably would have thought it was weird that your single, sarcastic friend could be so sentimental."

Her eyes welled up with tears. "You Velveteen Rabbited me," she whispered. Her eyes were full of love for him, but he also caught that familiar hunger beginning to creep back in.

She was about to lean in for a kiss, but then she stopped and remembered where they were. They had stood in the hallway the entire time. What if Joey or somebody else had interrupted? She opened her door and gave him a sly grin. "Want to continue this inside?" she murmured, beginning to kiss his neck.

Chandler groaned, but pulled back. "I thought you wanted to take things slow," he said. He looked into her eyes, letting her know he was willing to go at her pace.

Monica thought about it for a second, then grinned. "Hell, we waited a week longer than we did the first time we got together." With that, she was on Chandler's lips again and pulling him inside. This time he didn't protest.

They stumbled through her living room and into her bedroom. As he laid her down on her bed, he looked around the room and gulped. Monica realized he hadn't been in this room since he shared it with her. To reassure him, she pulled his head down to face hers. She began to unbutton his shirt. With every button she got free, she kissed the exposed skin and ran her cool fingers along it.

After she gently took his shirt off, she stared into his vulnerable eyes. "I want you, Chandler," she whispered in his ear. "I want you every night."

Chandler gazed into her bright blue eyes for a few moments. Then his lips captured hers and his fingers pulled down the straps of her dress, hungry for more contact.

Monica shuddered in anticipation. At last, they were back where they belonged.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Yay, they're finally happy! This story isn't over yet, so don't fret. I really do need to put an "on the page" conversation between them about everything that happened. But I just wanted them to be completely happy in a chapter first.

Next chapter will be a tiny bit smuttier, if that interests any of you.

**Disclaimer:** Never have I ever owned FRIENDS.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Monica loved having Chandler inside her. She'd already had him twice the night before and once this morning, but she needed more of him. She had him pinned on the bed, grinding on his leg. Her hips rose and fell against him. The only sounds that could be heard were their breathing, Monica's little moans, and the slight creak of the bed.

For once, Chandler didn't have anything to say. He gazed up at her with awe, his face turning a light shade of pink. His leg was pressing into her hard. When her moans grew louder, he started bouncing it. Monica fell on top of him and continued the pace for a while. Chandler left kisses on the top of her head and reached down to stroke her thighs. He could feel her start to tense up.

All of a sudden, she stopped. She lifted herself up and looked into his eyes. He recognized the dead serious look she was giving him. "Get inside me," she ordered. "Now."

He gave her a cheeky grin. "But you were getting so close."

"When I cum for you, I want you to feel it. I want you to hold me in place as I cum so hard I collapse."

Chandler wasted no time in flipping her over and giving her exactly what she wanted.

* * *

They laid side by side, still panting. Chandler looked into his girlfriend's blue eyes and smiled softly. He leaned in and kissed her. "I love you," he whispered in her hair.

"Saying I love you after only a week of dating? I guess your commitment issues really are cured," she teased. But he could see a blush creeping up her cheeks.

Chandler kissed her again and smiled. "When I look at you, I see my future. I can't see one without you," he told her seriously.

Monica beamed. She was reminded of their long talk the night they got back together. Chandler opened up to her more than he ever had before. He held nothing back. Now she finally understood what had lead to their breakup and why it wasn't going to happen again.

_Chandler sat beside her on the couch and took a deep breath. "I guess I ran away because there was still something in me that didn't feel good enough for you. I saw it in Phoebe's smirks whenever we were together, in all the men who would ogle you when I was standing right there. And you know, none of that mattered. As long as you were there to reassure me, I was fine. But sometimes it didn't always seem … like you were putting me first. Like when you went to Richard's apartment when I was trying to propose." At the look on Monica's face, he rushed on quickly. "And I know you chose me, but there must have been doubt if you went there in the first place. So I started to wonder if maybe you made a mistake choosing somebody so damaged over a guy like him who was able to give you everything."_

_ "Chandler …" Monica began. "I'm so sorry I went over to Richard's. I know I shouldn't have. But I didn't have doubts between the two of you. I had doubts about our relationship if you didn't want to ever get married, but I wasn't about to jump into Richard's arms over it. I suppose I came by to tell him to stay away, but I ended up confiding in a friend. And I know now that was a mistake. I should never have talked to an ex about my current relationship. I can see how that must have hurt you." _

_ "Yeah, well," Chandler rubbed the back of his neck. "I thought I'd gotten over all of that by the wedding. I was so excited to spend the rest of my life with you. But then I heard that damn voicemail message. And the thought of being the Bings was suffocating. The Bings don't marry for love. They marry for money, or pregnancy, or … Or just so they don't have to be alone. And I know what you're going to say, Mon. You'd say we're not my parents. I know that. But I'm the product of their dysfunction. That's exactly how I used to be before you. And it was always going to be a part of me. I could never escape it fully. And how could I risk damaging you beyond repair by being a Bing? I figured you could eventually move past this, but what if it was ten, twenty years in? I wanted to save you from that hell."_

_ "Why didn't you talk to me about it? I could have talked you down from the ledge like I did all those other times. We talk about everything."_

_ "I wanted to, Mon. But there wasn't a good opportunity, and the day of the wedding came so fast. By that time, I was in full on self-destruct mode. I had already decided you were better off without me and my baggage, so I ran off. Of course, when I realized I was making the biggest mistake of my life, I was already on a bus to Chicago."_

_ "And you believed all those crazy things," Monica whispered. "How could you? Didn't you know they weren't true?"_

"_At the time, no. I was too blinded by my own insecurity and self-doubt." Chandler grinned at Monica and squeezed her hand. "I don't feel that way anymore. My therapist helped me realize you just have to try and do the best you can do. And the best I can do is stay and work to make you happy every day." He chuckled a little. "I also had this crazy epiphany. What I did to you was what my parents did to me. I think, deep down, they both realized how badly they fucked up my childhood. So they thought the best thing to do was keep me at a distance so they didn't fuck me up any more than they already did."_

"_But they're changing too," Monica said._

_Chandler gave her a small smile. "Yeah, they are. They'll never win Parents of the Year, but they're trying now. Who knows, maybe I inspired them."_

"_You know Chandler, I think maybe you needed this time to really assess your insecurities and grow as a person. And I needed this time to do the same. Even though it was painful, I think we're going to be a much stronger couple now than we were before because of everything we've been through," Monica said, staring earnestly into his eyes._

_He smiled sadly and kissed her nose. "I think you're right," he agreed._

Monica smiled as her memory faded and she was focused on the Chandler in her bed again. "You know, I wouldn't mind working up more of an appetite before breakfast," she whispered, guiding her hand along Chandler's thigh and over his boxers.

He groaned. "Woman, you're insatiable." He grinned at her and sat up on the bed. "You know I can't refuse you. But let me get some water first, or I'll die of thirst."

"Okay." Monica gave him a seductive smile as he got up to leave the room, still in his boxers. "But don't take too long. You don't want me to get cold."

Still grinning, Chandler stepped into the living room. He froze in place as he saw Ross standing in the kitchen, looking through the fridge. He wished he had thought to put on pants. He had talked to Ross a few times since hanging out with Monica again and they had been cordial, but he was certain Ross wouldn't be happy to know Chandler was sleeping with his little sister again. Slowly, he backed away and tried to escape back into Monica's room without Ross noticing. But Ross looked up to see him. Instantly, the taller man's eyes narrowed and he slammed the fridge closed.

"_You_," he muttered dangerously.

"Oh, hey Ross," Chandler said as casually as he could. "How's it going?" He hoped Ross wasn't feeling particularly violent that morning.

Ross looked apoplectic for a few moments, but then he seemed to decide anger wasn't the best solution. His hands relaxed and he took some deep breaths. He shoved his hands in his pockets and shuffled from foot to foot. "You …" he repeated. "What color suit are you planning on wearing to the wedding? Because Rachel's going to want to have pictures taken, and she won't be happy if you clash with the others. Joey and Mike are wearing dark blue suits, so it should be easy for you to find one in a similar color."

At his words, Chandler visibly relaxed as well. He grinned at Ross. "I have a great suit in that color. Should I wear a matching tie with it?" Ross nodded. "Great, I can't wait. I'm really glad I get to be there, man. Thanks for letting me come." Ross grinned back at him, and he said bye to his friend before heading back to Monica's room.

"Wait, there's something else."

Chandler stopped, sure a lecture was about to come about not hurting Monica.

Instead, Ross looked even more nervous than before. His hands still buried in his pockets, he was staring down at the floor. "Uhhh, there's a Knicks game on Wednesday. It's for my bachelor party. I wanted to keep it simple this time, since it's my third bachelor party and all … Anyway, Joey has a ticket for you." He glanced up at Chandler. "It's just going to be the four of us: you, me, Joey, and Mike. Can you make it?"

Chandler broke into a huge grin. "I wouldn't miss it for anything," he said.

Ross looked elated. Just as he was about to say something else, Monica popped her head out of her room.

"Hurry up and get back in here, Bing."

Rolling his eyes, Ross started heading for the door. He glanced back at Chandler with a wry smile. "I'll leave you two alone. Don't get too carried away. I'll see you on Wednesday."

Chandler stood in the kitchen grinning like an idiot for a few moments. Not wanting Monica to wait any longer, he headed back to her room with a skip in his step.

* * *

"Oh God, I can't watch," Ross moaned as he covered his eyes. The opposing team just scored another three points against the Knicks. "This was supposed to be a happy event!" Chandler and Joey sat on either side of Ross, patting his shoulders supportively.

It was just the three of them. Mike left about ten minutes ago. He got a call from work and said he had to take care of it. Ross didn't look too upset about it, though. In fact, Chandler thought he looked a bit relieved. It was Chandler's first time meeting Mike. He liked the other man and he was happy Phoebe was so happy with him, but he was also relieved that it was just the three of them again. Like old times.

Chandler couldn't help thinking back to the hockey game they went to all those years ago. He even wore the same hat he wore at that game. That time, he and Joey spent the entire night trying to cheer up Ross after his first failed marriage. Now, they were celebrating Ross marrying the love of his life (again). Just two months ago, he never thought he would be in the same room as his college roommate again. It surprised him how easy it was to fall back into their old roles.

Somebody accidentally hit the back of Joey's seat, and Joey spun around to confront them. He stopped and swallowed hard as he saw who it was. "Erin?"

The brunette blinked in confusion, then gave Joey a wide smile. "Joey, right? Wow, it's been a few years. It's funny running into you here."

"Well, we do have a lot in common," Joey mumbled, looking away from her. Chandler vaguely remembered Joey talking about this girl named Erin he was dating a few years back. He seemed really smitten with her.

She kept smiling at him. "I'm just going to get a drink," she said. "Want to come with?"

Joey nodded and followed her, whispering to the guys that he'd be back soon.

Chandler grinned at his best friend's nervousness, but then he grew nervous himself as he realized he was left alone with Ross. He glanced over at the man. Ross was biting his thumbnail, his eyes glued to the court. He patted Ross' shoulder again. "They'll pull through, man. They wouldn't lose on your bachelor party."

This made Ross crack a smile. "Yeah, I'm not so sure they know about that," he said.

"It's too bad Mike couldn't stay," Chandler started, trying to gauge Ross' feelings. "He is your groomsman, after all."

"Eh, it's okay. We ran out of conversation topics in the first fifteen minutes, so it all worked out," he replied. Chandler chuckled. Then Ross turned to him, a serious expression on his face. "This is the best bachelor party I could have asked for. Everybody I wanted to be here is here," he told him.

Chandler felt a lump in his throat. "I missed the Knicks," he said. Ross smiled. They both knew it wasn't the Knicks Chandler had missed.

Not long after, Joey was back. Ross was in a better mood because the Knicks finally scored, and Joey was pissed because he missed it. But he wasn't too pissed. As he slid back in his seat, he winked at his friends. "I got a date. Erin decided to give me another chance," he told them in excitement.

"That's great, Joe!" Ross exclaimed.

"I hope I don't get shafted as your plus one for the wedding," Chandler said.

Joey snorted. "Are you kidding? If I asked her to be my date to a wedding less than a week in, she'd run away so fast. That's the problem liking somebody who's so similar to you. At least I know what not to do this time."

They were quiet for a few minutes, just watching the game. Just then, Ross blurted out, "I'm getting married in three days!"

"Yeah you are!" Chandler and Joey clapped his back.

* * *

**Author's Note:** This was a hard chapter to write. I feel kind of uncomfortable writing smut, and I was really stuck writing the boys at the game. But I'm relatively happy with how it turned out. I guess it was hard because it felt like nothing important really happened in this chapter. I keep telling myself the foundation is just as important as the exciting bits. Next chapter will be Ross and Rachel's wedding!

Thank you to all my supporters here. I get so excited seeing that a new review has been posted. I hope you will all stick it through to the end. There will be a nice payoff, I promise!

**Disclaimer: **If you could see my bank account, I wouldn't need to tell you I don't own FRIENDS.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

The church looked like a scene out of a fairy tale. Little fairy lights were strung up along the walls, along with silver lanterns. Bouquets of purple and yellow were placed delicately all around the room. Rays of sunlight shone through the stained glass windows to where Ross was standing. Ross was fiddling with his collar, but the expression on his face was determined. Chandler caught his eye and gave him a thumbs up. Ross grinned at him before turning his attention to the aisle.

Chandler also turned to see who was walking down the aisle. Monica and Mike were the first ones to walk down. His breath caught when his eyes landed on Monica. Her hair was curled and combed back in a half-updo. Curls brushed her bare shoulders and arms as she walked. Her bridesmaid dress was a flattering lilac. It was simple and sleek, except for a delicate strand of flowers standing in as her right strap. She looked over at where he was sitting and gave him a sweet smile. He mouthed "You look beautiful". Monica smiled even bigger the rest of the way down the aisle.

Once they reached the front, Mike went forward and took his place beside Ross. Monica squeezed her brother's hand and whispered something into his ear before taking her own place across from them.

Next down the aisle were Joey and Phoebe, as the best man and maid of honor. Phoebe wore the same dress as Monica. In typical Phoebe fashion, she had a spray of real lilacs in her hair. Chandler briefly wondered if she had taken them from the bushes outside the church. Joey also made eye contact with Chandler and waved. He could see now that Joey and Mike were wearing lilac ties along with their navy blue suits. They reached the others and took their places, Joey slapping a hand on Ross's shoulder.

Chandler heard gasps of adoration coming from the pews behind him. He spun around to see Ben walking down the aisle arm in arm with either Leslie or Chandler. The little Buffay girl was throwing flower petals with little care, while Ben was doing his best to act grown up. But what had caught the audience's attention was the little girl holding Ben's other hand. Emma was dressed in a tiny purple dress with matching dress shoes, and she was taking shaky steps. She had only learned how to walk a few weeks ago, and she was becoming quite adept at it. It appeared that the unfamiliar shoes were slowing her down slightly. When they got to the front, Monica scooped Emma up and Ben joined the men at Ross' side.

Seeing both Ross' kids at his side brought another smile to Chandler's lips. He remembered how devastated Ross had been when Carol and Susan wouldn't let Ben come to his wedding with Emily. They didn't think it was a good idea to take Ben out of school for a wedding across the ocean, especially when Ross hadn't known Emily for very long.

Chandler's thoughts were interrupted when he saw Ross jerk his head up. Rachel was walking down the aisle with Dr. Green, looking stunning. Like the bridesmaid dresses, her wedding dress was sleek, yet delicate. It was strapless and had a small train trailing behind her. Her hair was pulled back in an elegant knot, and her veil swished down her back as she moved. All eyes in the room were on her, but she only had eyes for Ross. She held his gaze all the way across the room, and she didn't break it even when she was beside him.

A sharp pain hit Chandler's chest as he witnessed what he had run out on. What his life could have been if he stayed.

He stole a look at Monica. She was smiling and looked thrilled for her brother and best friend, but Chandler knew how much it must be hurting her. He silently willed her to look at him, but she didn't. He turned his attention back to Ross and Rachel.

The minister began the ceremony. He droned on for a while, but Chandler was only listening to half of what he was saying. They should have gotten Joey to do it instead. He perked up when they finally got to the vows.

Ross went first. With shaking hands, he took out his piece of paper. "Rach, I've dreamed of this moment for years. I dreamed of being with you and becoming a family, even when it seemed impossible. Even now, standing in front of you, I can't believe I'm finally getting everything I've always wanted. And I'm glad we did the kids thing first, because we're already a family. This just makes it official. I couldn't think of a better mother for our children. You're my lobster, and I'll be holding your claw for eternity."

Chandler glanced at Monica again. Tears were now streaming down her face. With one hand, she wiped her eyes with a handkerchief. In the other, she held Emma tightly.

Blinking back tears in her eyes, Rachel cleared her throat and opened her own slip of paper. "Throughout all these years, I've never stopped loving you, Ross. Even when we were apart, a part of me always knew we'd find our way back to each other. I can't even begin to explain to you how much you mean to me. But I have the rest of our lives to show you."

As the minister allowed them to kiss, Monica's eyes found Chandler's. She gave him a watery smile and bounced Emma. Chandler agreed with Rachel. He would spend the rest of his life loving this woman, and he would spend every day making her feel like the most incredible woman alive.

An hour later, he sat with Joey and Monica at the reception. Monica was raving (or rather, boasting) about how wonderful the decorations turned out. "Of course, Rachel put Phoebe in charge of the decorations. Maid of honor duties and all. But I think we can all agree Phoebe isn't really cut out for all this decision making. She wanted everybody to carry lilac bouquets, for God's sake! So obviously I helped out with a few key details."

"And you put Phoebe in charge of cups and ice?" Chandler asked. In her excitement, Monica almost missed his sarcasm.

"She was in charge of lots of stuff I didn't help with," Monica replied vaguely. Chandler and Joey exchanged glances.

Joey banged his fist on the table. "When is dinner being served? I'm starving!"

"Joe, it'll still be another half hour," Chandler said. "Why don't we talk about something else to take your mind off it?"

Thinking for a second, Joey suddenly grinned. "I know! We can talk about you two." He looked them over and leaned in closer. "So how are you guys doing? How's the sex?"

Monica rolled her eyes and stood up. "And that's my cue. I'm going to take a walk and mingle. Want to come with?" she asked Chandler. Chandler was only too happy to oblige.

As they walked away, Joey shouted after them. "Don't get into any trouble! The broom closets are locked. I checked!"

* * *

They walked around the venue in silence. Monica held his hand, but he could tell she was deep in thought.

"This is a hard day for you." It was a statement, not a question.

Monica's head shot up. "My brother and my best friend got married today. I'm happy for them," she replied. But she didn't meet his eyes.

"But you think it should be your turn. I saw how much you were crying at the altar, " he said, giving her a sad smile.

"Of course it should be!" Monica burst out. All pretense of being fine was gone. "Now my brother has been married a grand total of four times, and I haven't even gotten married once! It's just not fair," she mumbled, staring at the ground.

"I don't think getting married four times is something to strive for," Chandler joked, trying to lighten the mood. He quickly kissed the top of her head before she could hit him.

Monica glowered. "Chandler, I love you, but right now I want to strangle you. I could have been married two years ago if it weren't for you!"

He squeezed her hand while putting his other hand up in surrender. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I'm just trying to cheer you up. I know it's hard right now, but one day you'll look back on this day as a wonderful memory. You have me by your side." He gave her a lopsided grin. "Besides, Ross getting married has always been a good thing for us."

Monica raised her eyebrow. "Really? How so?"

"Think about it. Ross' wedding to Carol. It was at the reception that you told me about the availability of the apartment across the hall from you. And while we were neighbors, you became my best friend. I knew I could come to you with anything." Monica smiled a bit at this, and Chandler pressed on. "And then there was Ross' wedding to Emily. Do I really need to explain the significance of London?" he asked her, winking.

Monica's smile faded and she crossed her arms in defiance. "Yes," she said, a small whine in her voice. Clearly she was still bothered.

Chandler took her hand and grinned wider. "Okay. It was at Ross' wedding in London where I spent an amazing night with my best friend. It opened up the possibility of something more, something that we never thought could be so right. Because of that night in London, we started dating and fell in love. And I never stopped."

Squeezing his hand tighter, Monica smiled up at him. "Keep talking."

"Of course, there was Ross' first wedding to Rachel, if you can even call it that," he said. Monica snorted. "That was the first time we talked seriously about marriage. And even though we decided we weren't ready, I wanted to take things to the next level with you. So I asked you to live with me."

"And I jumped on you and shouted yes," Monica chuckled. "So that leaves this one. Ross' second wedding to Rachel. What's going to happen at this one?"

"This is the most significant wedding of all. This is the one where I promise you marriage and babies. And actually follow through."

Monica stared at him for a few moments, then burst out laughing. "We've only been back together for what, two weeks? Don't you think it's a little too soon to be promising me all that?"

Before, her laughter would have hurt him. But now he understood it. "I don't think any of this is too soon. I wasted two years being apart from you, and it was hell. When I let myself think about it, I told myself that if I ever got another chance with you, I wouldn't waste any more time." He gazed into her blue eyes and kissed the top of her head. He could see how moved she was by his words. "I don't want to rush you into anything, Mon. I'll go at your pace. But I want to make my intentions clear this time. Whether it takes you a month or a year or longer to be ready, I'll be right here waiting."

He drew her into his arms and she held him tight. When she finally pulled back, a mischievous smile played on her lips. "Say we do get married," she began, her eyes gleaming. "It's gonna be so much better than this one, right?"

Laughing at her antics, Chandler took her hand and started walking around the venue again. "See those bouquets?" he asked, pointing at the same purple and yellow flowers decorating the tables. "At our wedding, they'll be twice as big and there will be three times as many. And we'll definitely have more roses."

She giggled next to him. "What about the food?"

"The menu is nice, but it's too typical for your tastes. For our wedding, we'll have all the staples, but you'll put a twist on it. You'll do something unexpected. But you'll make sure all the food fits together like a musical piece," he told her. She ran her fingers along his arm as they continued walking. "Just don't put whipped fish on the menu," he quipped, earning him a laugh and a light slap on the shoulder.

They stopped for a moment when Ross and Rachel came into view. They watched the newly married couple laugh and make googly eyes at each other as they greeted their guests. Chandler didn't miss the wistful look Monica gave to Rachel. He slung his arm around her shoulders casually and pulled her closer. "Rachel's dress is beautiful, of course," he said. "But it's not a Monica dress. I never got to see the dress you wore on our wedding day, but I thought the dress you had to return was perfect. When we get married, I want to see you in something like that. I promise I won't rip it until after the wedding," he added, winking.

Monica leaned in and kissed him slowly. For a moment, they were the only two people in the room. As he explored her mouth, he played with the curls trailing down her back, thinking it wouldn't be so bad if she curled her hair more often. Once they broke apart, Monica cupped his cheek tenderly.

"That's what I want too, Chandler," she whispered. "But even if we get married in a garden, or … Or a _gymnasium_," she said, choking on the word, "and only three people show up, our wedding will still be the best. Because it's you and me."

She glanced back at Ross and Rachel and squeezed his arm. "I love Ross and Rachel, but they still let so many things get in the way. We haven't exactly been perfect, but I love how we're able to talk things through. We're ready to move forward. With them … I don't need to write eighteen pages front and back to tell you how I feel. Or shave off your girlfriend's hair. You know, I don't think they ever really got over the whole break thing. Until recently, I guess. But maybe if they just knew how to talk to each other, they could have moved past this much sooner." She sighed, leaning into Chandler.

"So you're not so jealous of them after all, huh?"

She smiled and kissed him again. "I guess not," she murmured.

Their alone time was interrupted by Phoebe and Joey. "Guys, where have you been?" Joey demanded. "They're about to cut the cake!"

"We were just looking for you," Monica replied, giving Chandler a sly smile. Still holding Chandler's arm, she guided him back to their table. Joey and Phoebe were having an animated discussion about whether the flowers on the cake were real, and Monica joined in once they sat down.

They shared another secret smile before engaging with the group. There would be plenty of time to be alone later.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Ross and Rachel are officially married! I guess I'm finally getting to that age, because it seems like everybody I know is getting married this year except me. Of course that's an exaggeration, but it's probably only going happen more and more each year from now on. So I guess I can kind of relate to Monica's feelings, even though I've never been left at the altar. (Thought I should clarify, I never bothered to update my bio. I'm not 19 anymore and haven't been for a good few years.)

I have a few more chapters planned for this story. I know exactly how I want it to end, but the stuff before that needs a bit of tweaking. I'm thinking of writing another Mondler story when I'm done this one. But it'll probably be a lot shorter. Plus I'm going back to school, so I won't have the time I have now to write. But for those of you who are enjoying this story, keep on the lookout for another one by me!

Thanks again to my lovely reviewers and followers! You make this all possible!

**Disclaimer:** I still own nothing of FRIENDS.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Two months after Ross and Rachel's wedding, Chandler's couch broke. Monica blamed him for throwing her down too hard on it, and he blamed her for riding him too enthusiastically on the rickety old frame. But he surmised the couch was probably just too old and couldn't take any more stress. It was there when he moved in, and it was looking pretty worn already by that point. So he took Monica with him to pick out a new one.

They walked hand in hand, surveying the display couches. Monica's hair was pulled back in a ponytail. Chandler couldn't help glancing at her as she walked, the ponytail bouncing with each step. "I like it when you wear your hair up," he whispered in her ear.

"And I like it when you compliment me," she retorted with a giggle. She sat down on a big fluffy blue couch, lightly bouncing on it. "Ooh, I like this one. It's real cozy." Chandler sat down beside her and bounced as well. It was very cozy. He envisioned having Monica over, cuddling into the couch as they watched movies. And perhaps testing out the strength and durability of the new couch …

"I like this one," he told her. "This could be the one. It's the comfiest one so far, and the price isn't bad."

Monica was looking at him, but she didn't say anything. After a while, a sly grin spread over her face. "I was thinking … What if you didn't buy this couch? My couch is still in great condition, you know."

He chuckled. "That's great Mon, but I need a couch in my apartment."

"What if you had my couch in your apartment?"

"What sense does that make? Then you wouldn't have a-" he stopped when he saw her pointed expression and head tilt. "Ohhh. Are you asking what I think you're asking?"

"What do you think I'm asking?"

"Are you asking me to move in with you? 'Cause if you are, the answer is yes. Yes, I'll move in with you," he said, grinning like an idiot.

"Yes!" Monica replied, her face lighting up. She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned in to kiss him. Still grinning, Chandler lowered his lips to hers. When they parted, Monica giggled. "I missed your barcalounger."

Chandler could swear those were the sweetest words anybody had ever said to him. He wasted no time in kissing her again.

"Come on," Monica said, tugging on his hand. "Let's pick out something together to put in our apartment."

* * *

Chandler was completely moved in a week later. His lease didn't finish until the end of next month, but neither of them wanted to wait that long. They wanted to be around each other as much as possible.

Three days after Chandler moved in, they were getting ready to go out for Ross' birthday dinner. Well, they were supposed to be getting ready. Chandler walked in on Monica in just a slip, so he carried her over to the couch.

"You said your couch is still in great condition," he whispered, kissing her neck. "I wanted to test it out. Just to make sure we don't need to go furniture shopping again."

"Oh?" Monica raised an eyebrow. "Do you also need to remove my slip to conduct this experiment?" she asked, slowly pushing the straps off her shoulders.

Chandler considered it for a moment, then shook his head. "Nah, there's no time. We'd better make it quick." He wasted no time in diving between her legs, eliciting a loud moan from her lips.

Joey walked in ten minutes later. "Hey, are you guys ready ye- Ahhhh! Put some clothes on! We should have left by now!" He leaped back and covered his eyes.

Quickly fixing her slip so nothing was visible, Monica smiled at her boyfriend. "We were just finished," she said.

She stood up and went to her bedroom to finish getting ready. On her way, she noticed Joey standing in the corner facing the walls, covering his ears now instead of his eyes. She smirked at Chandler as he gathered his clothes up.

They only reached the restaurant ten minutes late, which was quite a feat. As soon as Monica put her purse and jacket on the chair and greeted her friends, she made a beeline for the washroom. She would have gone at home, but Joey kept yelling at them to hurry up. At least he was looking at them again now.

Just as she was exiting the washroom, she ran into a beautiful blonde woman wearing a slinky green dress. The woman smiled at her. "I love your dress!" she gushed, gesturing to Monica's burgundy dress.

Monica felt it looked pretty drab compared to this woman's dress, but she smiled at the compliment. "Thank you! Yours looks amazing too!" she replied, gushing as well. Her eyes fell to the woman's left hand, and she noticed a sparkling diamond on her ring finger. "That's a stunning ring! Are you engaged?"

The woman thanked her and nodded. "It's only been eight months, but you know what they say. When you know, you know."

"Yeah," Monica answered, smiling over at Chandler. "Well, I should get back to my table. We're celebrating my brother's birthday dinner. Congratulations on the wedding!"

She gave Chandler a quick kiss on the cheek when she sat down, beaming at her friends. "I just met the nicest woman," she told them.

"Yeah, I saw," Joey replied. He had a funny look on his face, like he was trying to figure something out. "I feel like I've seen her around before."

Phoebe snorted. "Yeah, I think we all know where you've seen her before, Joey." The others laughed.

But Joey still looked puzzled. "You would think so, but I don't think that's it." Suddenly his eyes widened in the typical Joey way when he figured something out.

"I know what it is!" he whispered to Chandler. "That's the girl you slept with last year!"

In Joey's excitement at figuring out the puzzle, his whispering wasn't as quiet as he'd planned. It was clear from their friends' reactions that they had all heard. Chandler's eyes widened in panic and he waved his hands at Joey. Then he turned to Monica, his skin quickly turning to an ashy color. Her heart plummeted when she saw the look on his face. So it was true.

"Well, I'm glad you had somebody to keep you company," Monica said in a flat tone.

Chandler spun back to Joey and glared at him. "I'm going to kill you," he hissed.

The table fell into an uncomfortable silence. Nobody knew what to say, and they scarcely dared to look at one another. Finally Rachel stood up and made a birthday toast to Ross. Eager to move on to a new subject, the others turned to congratulate Ross.

Although the conversation moved forward, Monica stayed silent. She only spoke if she was spoken to, but not to Chandler or Joey. She laughed at a few of Ross' jokes and anecdotes to be supportive, but her heart wasn't in it.

Monica knew she was being a bitch. Chandler kept trying to touch her hand and give her little smiles, but she wasn't having any of it. She moved her hand away the second he brushed against it, and made eye contact with everybody at the table except for him. She knew it shouldn't matter, she knew her relationship was in no way threatened.

But she didn't see it coming. It just wasn't the way she had pictured it. The way Joey had described it to her, Chandler only thought of her for those two years. She pictured him pining away. And of course she didn't want him pining, she wanted him to be happy. It was just such a splash of cold water hearing that he obviously wasn't pining the whole time.

Two years was a long time. It wasn't fair to expect Chandler to be celibate that entire time, but did he have to sleep with somebody so charming? Why did she have to be so gorgeous, so charismatic? Monica found it hard to believe Chandler hadn't been charmed by her too. Did he forget about Monica so easily?

Ever since he came back into her life, Monica saw him as her Chandler. And after hearing how he never stopped loving her, she considered the Chandler she hadn't seen for two years her Chandler too.

Ross interrupted her brooding. "I'm really glad we could all do this, guys," he told the group, taking a bite of his cheesecake. "I wish we could all hang out more after dinner, but I have a ton of work to do. It's midterm season. I'll probably be up all night grading exams."

"That's okay, honey. We'll get to have our romantic weekend getaway soon enough," Rachel said, squeezing her husband's hand. "Hey, is it okay if Phoebe comes over? We'll keep the noise down."

"Sure, as long as you take care of Emma if she wakes up. My mom's going home as soon as we get back," Ross said.

Monica perked up at this. "I'll join you guys," she announced. "We haven't had a girls night in ages!"

This got Phoebe's attention. "Okay, but don't you want to-" she began, interrupted by a jab to her side from Rachel.

"Great, Mon. We're going to have such a good time!" Rachel said, clapping her hands together. "Oh, but we don't have any alcohol at our place right now."

"No problem, I'll just swing by my place and pick some up," Monica replied. She could see Chandler making gestures out of the corner of her eye, but she ignored him.

The group shared a cab ride home. They chattered the whole way back, except for Monica and Chandler. Monica stared out the window and wished she had walked home instead. She didn't know what to say to Chandler. She didn't even fully understand her own feelings, so she had no idea how she would be able to convey how she was feeling to him.

Once they got to their building, Monica, Chandler, and Joey split from the other three. The walk up to their apartments was silent. Joey kept giving her furtive glances, but Monica didn't want to deal with him right now either.

They reached the hallway between their apartments. Joey lingered, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Look, I'm really sorry," he told them. "I shouldn't have said anything." With that, he entered his apartment. Monica and Chandler did the same.

Monica didn't even have time to step into the kitchen before Chandler spoke. "Look Mon, can we talk about this? This is driving me crazy."

"We will. When I get back from girls night." Monica quickly gathered up a few liquor bottles and margarita mix, careful to avoid eye contact with Chandler.

"Okay, I can see you're upset," Chandler tried again. Now he was standing in front of her.

"We'll talk about it later," Monica said firmly. She stalked over to the front door with the bottles, Chandler following closely behind her.

He caught her wrist gently as she wrangled the door open. "Mon …" he pleaded. For the first time since Joey opened his big mouth, she looked at him. He looked so distressed that she almost wanted to stay.

Instead, she shook him off. She could feel tears prick her eyes and she wasn't really sure why. "Chandler, don't." Then she was gone, the door slamming behind her.

* * *

**Author's Note: **I said I wasn't going to put in drama just for the sake of drama, and I'm not. I feel like this would be a fairly realistic continuation of rebuilding a relationship after a two year breakup. It's not going to be rainbows all the time. I know Monica's being irrational here, but I hope I showed where she's coming from.

**Disclaimer:** Still don't own any part of FRIENDS.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

"And the Tiki Death Punch makes a return!" Monica announced, carrying a large jug over to Rachel and Phoebe.

Rachel clapped enthusiastically. She wasted no time in having a taste as soon as Monica poured her a glass. "I wonder if this makes me a bad mom," she mused, looking in the direction of Emma's room, where she was sleeping soundly. "Oh well," she shrugged. "I don't get out much these days, so I'll take what I can get."

Once they were all settled in with their drinks, Phoebe turned to Monica. "So are you gonna tell us what happened with you and Chandler?" Rachel's head popped up with interest.

Monica shook her head with more emphasis than what was needed. "Nope. For that matter, I propose we avoid the topic of boys for this whole night! We're three strong, intelligent, independent women. There are tons of topics to discuss besides men!"

Rachel and Phoebe exchanged glances, but gave Monica supportive smiles. The women paused to think of a topic.

"Oh, oh, I know!" Phoebe exclaimed. "There was this woman on an infomercial today who was selling vials of potion to relive your past lives. Of course, I already know about mine, but it would be helpful for others."

Deciding to humor her, Rachel thought about it for a moment. "Wait, does it help you to relive your entire past lives, or just the highlights?" she asked. "'Cause the whole thing could take a long time."

"The potions should come with a remote control so you can fast forward the boring bits," Monica giggled. She could finally feel relaxed. Rachel and Phoebe were the perfect team to get her mind off things.

* * *

Monica came in just after midnight. She closed the door softly, hoping that Chandler was asleep. Immediately, he stood up from the couch. She sighed. No such luck. She was tired and tipsy and still hadn't figured out what she should say to him. But she wanted answers. Taking her coat off and hanging it up neatly, she prepared herself to face Chandler.

"Hey," she said, stepping carefully towards him. She stopped at the edge of the couch. He glanced up at her and offered a small smile.

"Hey," he answered. "Ready to talk?"

"Okay."

He gestured to the open spot on the couch beside him. "Want to sit down?"

"No," she said, shaking her head. "I'd rather stand, if that's okay."

Chandler rubbed his face and let out a deep sigh. "Okay. I guess we'll stand, then." He stood up to face her. They just locked their eyes on one another, neither one making the first move. Finally, Chandler sighed again. "So I guess I'll start. Look, it was just a one night stand. It was over a year since we broke up. We just went on one date. We had a few drinks, and you know how I get when I get drinks in me. I slept with her that night, but the next morning I told her I wasn't looking for anything. And that was it. It didn't mean anything. I told you I never stopped loving you, Monica, and I meant it. I never stopped. Not even for a second. But you weren't there, and I didn't think I'd ever see you again, let alone date you."

She closed her eyes and exhaled sharply. "If it was just a one night stand, then why did Joey recognize her?" she asked.

"Joey set me up with her. He kept telling me to put myself out there, but I didn't want to. He finally broke me down and arranged a date for me," he said. At her raised eyebrow and crossed arms, he waved his arms in the air. "You can ask Joey if you don't believe me! Why would I lie?"

Monica relented a little, letting her arms fall to her sides. "Fine. Were there others?"

Chandler's hesitation spoke for itself. He scratched the back of his neck and focused on the coasters on the coffee table. After a few moments, he met her eyes. "Yes," he admitted. "There was one other woman, a few months after. But it was the exact same story."

It shouldn't have surprised her, but somehow it did. She felt that splash of cold water again. Trying to maintain her composure, she stared up at the ceiling and attempted to control her breathing. "I see," she said slowly.

Observing her reaction, Chandler panicked a little. He reached for her hands, his blue eyes desperate and scared. "Look, I get that you're upset, but please don't make a bigger deal out of this than it really is. I had a one night stand with two women when we were broken up. That's it." He smiled at her. She supposed the smile was an attempt to calm her down, but it had the opposite effect.

She snatched her hands back and glared at him. "You weren't supposed to have sex with somebody else!" she exploded. "You're _my _Chandler. Ever since London, you were only ever supposed to be with me!"

Chandler's face reddened. He looked like he was about to yell back, but instead he stopped and took some deep breaths. "That's not fair, Mon," he said in a calm, controlled voice. "You were with other guys too. Like Ryan, for instance. At that point in time, I couldn't imagine us ever getting back together. Do you honestly think I would have slept with another woman if I thought for a moment we still had a chance?"

She didn't want to respond to that question right now. She wanted to still be angry. So she focused on the first part of what he said. "There were a few guys," she admitted. They didn't seem worth mentioning if she could count them on one hand. Faced with Chandler, they felt as meaningful as the specks of dust she wiped off her furniture every day. Forgotten the second they were out of the picture. She imagined it was the same for Chandler and the two women he had been with. Just as she began to soften, she pushed those thoughts out of her head and clenched her fists. No. It wasn't the same at all. "But that's completely different!" she threw at him.

"How?" Chandler ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "How is it different?"

"Because you're the one who left me!" she cried out, her voice cracking.

There. It was out in the open. Monica didn't even fully understand the reason for her anger until she said it out loud.

Chandler's expression turned more compassionate, but he wasn't done with the argument. They had already discussed this issue to death. Was him leaving going to be thrown back in his face during every fight? "Yes, I left. I think we've got that covered by now," Chandler said, bitterness seeping into his words. "But if you recall, I wasn't the one who ended the relationship. _You _broke up with _me_."

"That still doesn't give you the right to sleep with somebody else!" Monica shot out. Hearing it out loud sounded so stupid she didn't know where else she could go from there. She looked him in the eye, trying to maintain some sense of dignity.

"I'm done with this topic for tonight. I'm going to sleep now. Alone. The guest room is fully furnished." With that, she spun around and entered her bedroom.

Chandler watched the closed door and swore under his breath.

* * *

Hours after their argument, Chandler was still fuming in the guest room bed. He couldn't believe she would just shut him out like this after everything they've been through. He briefly contemplated stacking her plates all out of order to be petty, but decided against it. Couldn't Monica see that nobody else could even begin to compare to her?

Eventually, he fell into a troubled sleep. His dreams were disjointed and chaotic, and left him with an anxious feeling. Not long after, he was awoken by a slight creak of the bed and a warm body pressed against his. He let out a questioning mumble at Monica's presence.

"I was cold," she told him, snuggling deeper into his chest. Chandler was still annoyed, but he instinctively wrapped his arm around her and held her close. He entwined his fingers with hers and laid them on his chest. Neither of them spoke for a while. They enjoyed the silence of one another's company.

Eventually, Monica turned and gazed up at his face. "I'm sorry," she said. "I know it meant nothing. I knew it from the moment Joey opened his stupid mouth. But she was just so gorgeous, so charismatic … I couldn't help imagining you doing all sorts of things with her. Touching her, kissing her … Things I only want you to do to me."

He leaned down and kissed her nose. "I'm sorry too," he replied. "I never meant to hurt you, but I still did. You gotta know, it's only ever been you, Mon. Me being with other woman didn't diminish my love for you. Just like you being with other guys didn't change how you felt about me."

"If we loved each other all this time, then why were we apart?" Monica whispered, on the verge of tears. "Why did we waste so much time being unhappy?"

"I don't know," Chandler shrugged helplessly. "Maybe it's like you said. Maybe we needed the time to grow and be better versions of ourselves."

She laid her head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat. "Maybe we did. I just hate how much time we wasted," she said. He lightly brushed her cheek.

They lapsed into a comfortable silence again, staring at the ceiling. Monica was the first to break the quiet again. "I'm just so tired of wasting time, Chandler. I don't want to waste any more. I want to move forward with you," she told him, gazing into his eyes.

He grinned at her. "You're ready now?" Before she could answer, he added another point. "And being ready to move forward should also mean we leave the past in the past. We can still _talk _about our breakup, but let's not use it as a weapon against each other in a fight."

Monica nodded along with his words. Her face broke into a smile. "I'm ready now," she whispered. "Let's leave the past where it belongs and start our future."

He didn't think his grin could get any wider as he leaned in and kissed her. She responded with all the passion he'd hoped for. She moaned against his lips and opened her mouth to allow his tongue to slip in.

He didn't think he could ever get enough of this. Or enough of Monica.

* * *

**Author's Note: **And they're back on track! For some reason, this was the saddest chapter to write for me. I'm just happy things are resolved. This story is nearing to a close, so stay tuned!

Thanks once again to my lovely reviewers! It fuels my passion to write this story!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any part of FRIENDS. Too bad ...


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Chandler ran full speed into the coffee house, stopping when he reached his friends on the couch. He held onto a nearby chair, gasping for breath. "I need to propose to Monica!" he announced, waving his arms around.

Joey looked elated, but Rachel exchanged glances with Ross and Phoebe. They all looked a little apprehensive at the thought. Rachel took a sip of her coffee before addressing Chandler. "You've only been back together for what, three months? Don't you think it's a little out of the blue?" she asked, examining him closely.

"Out of the blue? No! This is smack dab in the middle of the blue!" he shouted, jumping up and down.

"Okay, no espressos for you," Ross said. Despite his concerns, he couldn't help but smile at Chandler's anxiousness. It was clear Chandler really did love his little sister. He gestured to the table next to the couch. "Why don't you sit down and tell us what's going on? What's the rush all of a sudden?"

"This coming from the guy who married a woman he knew for about seventy days," Chandler muttered. At Ross' pointed look, he decided to sit down and do what Ross wanted. He took a few deep breaths to calm down before talking. "Okay," he began, rubbing the back of his neck. "We agreed we were ready to start our future together. But that was two whole weeks ago! Two weeks with no change. We've talked so much about our future since then, but talking isn't enough for me anymore. I'm just dying to call her my wife. I couldn't _be _more ready!"

Joey started to say, "Could I _be _any more-", but Rachel elbowed him in the ribs.

Chandler continued as if there was no interruption. "You guys asked me what the rush is. But there is no rush. Monica's been my best friend for thirteen years. Well, minus the last two years, I guess eleven. And three of those years we were together. People wait to get married to see if they're compatible, right? To see if they get along well under the same roof, figure out if they can stand to see each other every day. But we've already figured all that stuff out. And I found out what it was like to live without her, and I never want to do that again. The thing is, I can't stand another second of not being engaged to this woman." He finished his speech with a soft smile on his lips, thinking of his best friend.

When he was done talking, he saw the group's reactions. Rachel was wiping away her tears with a handkerchief, Phoebe sat there with a stunned expression, and Joey's grin was even wider than it was before. He cautiously turned to see what Ross was thinking. Ross looked beyond touched. With a goofy grin, he walked over to Chandler and enveloped him in a big hug.

"I'm so happy for you guys," Ross gushed. Chandler breathed a huge sigh of relief.

"Awww, you guys are getting married!" Phoebe said, smiling now.

Rachel finished wiping her tears and beamed at Chandler. "Who knew you could be such a romantic?"

Chandler smiled, but he turned serious again. "I need help. A lot of help. I need something that's twice as good as my last proposal."

"Hmmm … You could do a callback to something significant in your relationship," Rachel said.

"That's good, I like that. What can I use?"

"I don't know. You could take her to Las Vegas," Rachel suggested.

Joey slammed his palm on the coffee table. "Take her to London!"

"London!" Chandler's eyes grew wide. "That's perfect! You guys are the best! I'm gonna take her to London and propose!" His energy was back. He bolted out of the chair and ran towards the door, calling behind his shoulder, "I need to buy a ring!"

He was back seconds later, grinning sheepishly. "I already have a ring," he told the group. "I guess we can cross that off the list!"

* * *

Monica exited their bedroom wearing her bath robe. Her hair was sticking up all over the place and she was yawning. Chandler grinned at the sight of her. She was so adorable.

She turned to see her boyfriend standing in the kitchen, fully dressed. She frowned. "Did you already go to the coffee house?"

"Yup," he answered, wrapping his arms around her when she reached him. "I know you have that evening shift tonight. I wanted to let you sleep in." He kissed her gently, smiling against her lips.

She was smiling too as she pulled away. "I'm just surprised you didn't sleep in too. It's Saturday," she told him.

"I had a burst of energy today," Chandler said, hiding his smirk. He watched her put on some coffee and search in the fridge for some breakfast food. While she was busy cooking bacon and eggs, he wrapped his arms around her again, this time from behind. "How about we take an international trip?" he whispered in her ear. "Say, in two weeks?"

Monica laughed. "As nice as that sounds, I won't be able to take that much time off for quite a while. Work has been crazy lately. At least I get next weekend off, since I worked overtime the past three weekends." She sighed. "Did you already eat?"

Behind her back, Chandler's face fell. So much for the London idea. But she would be free next weekend, and he never worked weekends. His mind whirred. Maybe he could come up with something amazing by next weekend.

After breakfast, they had a relaxing morning before Monica had to get ready for work. Monica started getting ready earlier than she usually did, which Chandler found strange. She came out of their bedroom, looking more serious than a courtroom judge. She stood in front of Chandler while he was watching T.V. and cleared her throat nervously. "Um, I know we've been talking about our future a lot, and you keep mentioning marriage and babies." Chandler immediately turned the T.V. off and gave her his full attention. Had she already guessed his plans? "Before we, uh, do that stuff, there's something you should know."

Chandler felt a pit in his stomach. He thought they'd told each other everything. What didn't she tell him? Before he could speak, Monica sat down beside him and held his hand tightly. She closed her eyes and let out a heavy sigh. "Chandler, I didn't know how to tell you this," she admitted. "I knew it would change everything."

"Just tell me, Mon. My mind is going crazy with all these ideas."

"Okay." She closed her eyes again, then opened them and looked straight into his. "I guess I should start at the beginning. It was just after Rachel found out she was pregnant. About two weeks after our wedding date. I thought I might be pregnant too." If she noticed the shock on his face, she chose to ignore it and pressed on. "I was late, and I'm never late. My body is just as punctual as me. I took a test, but it was negative. Still, I just had a feeling. I knew false negatives are common, especially so early. So I went with Rachel so we could both find out for sure."

Chandler couldn't breathe. His imagination ran wild with images of a blue eyed baby he never knew about, growing up with different parents. But he couldn't make that scenario fit in with what he already knew. He remained silent, but squeezed her hand in support.

By this time, Monica was staring into her lap, balling up her other hand into a tight fist. "The blood test came out negative as well. But I still had this feeling, so I made them do other tests." Chandler almost chuckled at the thought of a determined Monica. The poor hospital staff never had a chance. She looked into his eyes again, and he could see tears in her own. "I was wrong," she said, in a voice that broke Chandler's heart.

"They told me that not only was I not pregnant, but …" She stopped long enough to get her voice under control. "They told me I have an inhospitable uterus," she whispered. Tears were now freely streaming down her face.

"What does that mean?" Chandler whispered back.

"It means that I can keep trying, but there's a good chance this may never happen for me." She broke into sobs, and he pulled her into a hug.

As he stroked her hair, Chandler thought about what it must have been like for Monica. First her fiance leaves her at the altar, then she finds out she probably won't be able to have kids. Two of the things she wanted most snatched away in the span of a couple weeks. Meanwhile, she had to watch her best friend having a baby and getting married. "I'm so, so sorry you had to deal with this all by yourself. I'm sorry I wasn't there," he whispered into her hair.

"Well, denial helped a lot," she joked. But she became serious again at his silence. "I'm sorry you weren't there too," she said. "But I wasn't alone." She smiled at the thought of her friends. If she didn't have them to pull her through it, she was sure she wouldn't have made it.

He pulled back suddenly and held her at arm's length so she could see his face. "Mon, this doesn't change anything with us. I still want to marry you someday. And as for babies … We'll figure it out. But I'm not going anywhere. I love you, inhospitable uterus and all."

Monica smiled and patted his hand. "I know," she said. "But this is a life-changing piece of information. I've had two years to come to terms with it. You've barely had two minutes. That's why I told you before I have to go to work. I want you to take the day and just process this. Figure out if this is what you really want." Seeing he was about to protest, Monica shushed him. "Take the day and we'll talk about it when I get home," she told him firmly. Then she kissed him and checked her watch. "I'd better get going. Bye, sweetie!"

He did take the day to think about it. After pacing the living room for a while, he made himself a stiff drink and sat on the balcony. He couldn't help but hear his therapist's words in his head about healthy coping mechanisms. If there was ever a circumstance to ignore that advice, it was this one.

The little blue eyed baby of his dreams, with Monica's nose and his lips, faded out of his mind. He always thought that baby was their future. Although the baby was a figment of his imagination, its absence left a hole in his heart. It surprised him how much this hurt. He thought he would mostly hurt for Monica's sake, because it's what she always wanted. And of course his heart ached for her. But he was just now realizing how much he wanted that blue eyed baby. Hell, he'd take a yellow eyed baby in a heartbeat, as long as it was healthy.

He went through a few stiff drinks, but he paced himself. He spent most of the day out on the balcony, contemplating what Monica had told him. His thoughts were so distracting, he didn't even notice when the window opened wider and Rachel and Phoebe joined him on the balcony. They sat on either side of him before he paid any attention.

"Hi," Rachel smiled softly, squeezing his shoulder. "Monica told us that she told you. We thought we'd come see how you're holding up."

"We brought you a gift," Phoebe said, holding out a gift bag for him. "It's the same thing we gave Monica when she found out."

Chandler smiled at his friends warmly. "Thanks. That's sweet of you." He opened his gift to reveal a bottle of scotch and two expensive looking Ralph Lauren dress shirts. "You got Monica men's dress shirts?"

"Of course not," Phoebe giggled. "We got her this super sexy dress."

"We wanted to give her things that she couldn't enjoy if she was pregnant," Rachel explained. "And we did the same with you. You couldn't wear a dress shirt like that around a baby. They'd spit up all over it," she said knowingly.

Phoebe nodded. "And Monica sure enjoyed that scotch." She remembered that Monica was halfway through it the night they gave it to her. After the third scotch on the rocks with a twist, she'd started drinking it straight from the bottle. _"I'm never getting married and I'm never having kids. Isn't my life great?" Monica yelled as she stumbled into Joey for the thousandth time that night. _

Phoebe's memories were broken by Chandler giving them both side hugs. "Thanks guys. This really means a lot." They put their arms around him and patted his back.

Sensing a change of subject was needed, Rachel turned to him. "Any idea how you're going to propose yet?" she asked. Chandler could see in her eyes she was also asking "You're still going to propose, right?"

He leaned back and stretched his legs out. "No idea. Taking her to London is out. She doesn't know when she'll be able to take the time off from work. Any ideas?"

While Rachel was still thinking, Phoebe answered him. "Isn't it obvious? If you can't take her to London, take London to her."

His face brightened. "Pheebs, you're a genius." While they all sat there, he started planning his proposal. It was going to be perfect. He'd get them all to help out …

But first, there was tonight. A candlelit dinner sounded like just the thing to put Monica's fears to rest. Chicken Parmesan seemed easy enough, and it was just fancy enough to win her over. Maybe he could see her in that sexy dress.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I still want to stick to canon as much as possible, so I gave Monica the same condition she has on the show. Chandler has low sperm motility in this story too, he just doesn't know it yet. But it's not impossible for them to have a biological child, so I'm still debating on whether I should add one. I have Chandler's proposal all planned out! It's super cute!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the show, the characters, or anything except this story. And maybe Ryan.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Chandler had the perfect proposal planned. He had every tiny detail mapped out; every Plan A with a Plan B. Monica would have been proud.

Being Chandler, it was bound to all come crashing down eventually.

He sat across from Ryan in the man's office, wishing he could leap across the desk and throttle him. He thought about the luxurious London-style hotel he had managed to book last minute for that weekend. Two entire days filled with London inspired activities. The dinner he had planned on the rooftop, overlooking the New York City skyline. The food was carefully designed after the group's first dinner in London. It was the ideal setting for a proposal. And now none of it was going to happen.

"I need you to go to New Jersey this weekend to meet with potential clients. Really try to impress them. They're only in the area for this weekend, so pull out all the stops. Take them out to breakfast, dinner, drinks afterwards. Just close the deal." Ryan barely looked at Chandler since he called him into his office, but now he gave him his full attention. "I know it's short notice and interns don't usually do this sort of thing anyway, but Erikson backed out last minute. And we can't let these clients slip away. They're too valuable."

Chandler rubbed his face roughly. Any other time, he'd be thrilled to get such an incredible opportunity. But this weekend was Monica's only free weekend. It might be months before he could get another chance. "I'd love to do it, I would," Chandler told his boss. "It's just … I was going to propose this weekend. I had everything planned. Can't Jensen do it?"

"Well, you and Jensen are the only people who can do it. And I could either choose the guy who brings me coffee every morning or the guy who's dating my ex." Ryan smirked at him. "Now, if I had to ruin somebody's weekend, who would you choose?" In response, Chandler just sighed and slumped his shoulders. Ryan's face grew serious and he leaned in closer to the other man. "This is a good opportunity, Chandler. If you do well this weekend, it will pave the way to future promotions down the road. I wouldn't put you in charge of this if I didn't think you could handle it."

Smiling a little, Chandler stood up and shook his hand. "Thank you. I'll have the contract signed before they can even bring the check for Sunday's brunch."

He called Monica on his break to give her the bad news.

"It's just as well," she responded glumly when he was finished. "The restaurant has been insanely swamped . It's not a good idea to take a weekend off when there's so much to get done. And critics like to come during busy periods. It looks like I'll be spending another weekend at work." After a moment's pause, she spoke with more enthusiasm. "Did he really say this weekend could lead to promotions? That's great, sweetie! I'm so proud of you!"

"Yeah?" Chandler asked, grinning against the phone. "I'm pretty excited about it too. I'm just sorry it screws up our weekend plans."

"That's okay. We can just do it another weekend."

"Yeah," Chandler said absentmindedly. He knew they couldn't just do it another weekend. It had to be this weekend. After hanging up with Monica, Chandler thought for a few minutes. He still had a couple minutes before his break ended. He picked up the phone again and called Ross.

"You still have those museum connections, don't you?" he asked as soon as Ross picked up the phone.

"I still have some. Why?" Ross asked.

"I'm going to need a favor. Can you borrow some displays for me? I'll need them for Sunday night. I can return them first thing Monday morning."

Once Ross found out why Chandler needed this favor, he was more than willing to help. Together, they formed a plan. By the time Chandler had to return to work, he was confident his ideas weren't going to go to waste after all.

* * *

Monica fumbled with her key as she tried to get into her apartment. Frustrated tears stung her eyes. The whole weekend had been a disaster. Several people called in sick, and the restaurant was understaffed for both Friday and Saturday night. A critic was spotted on Saturday night, and he no doubt noticed the disorganization of the staff trying to do several jobs at once. She wasn't looking forward to reading that review in the paper. That afternoon, she had lunch with her parents. Judy being Judy, she interrogated Monica about whether Chandler was serious about her this time and reminded her that her biological clock was ticking.

To top it all off, Joey stopped her in the hallway a few seconds ago and told her Chandler wasn't home. Something came up with his business deal, and he wouldn't be home until tomorrow or maybe even Tuesday.

All she wanted was a glass (or three) of wine and for Chandler to hold her as she vented. She'd have to settle for just the wine. When she finally got the door open, she walked into a dark apartment. But it wasn't completely dark. The living room was filled with candles.

She stood in the middle of the room, staring at the view around her. Besides the candles, there was a statue of Big Ben, a telephone booth, a small model of the River Thames, and Joey's touristy hat he bought in London. In front of her, Chandler was kneeling in the same spot he had knelt three years ago, when he proposed the first time. He was holding a ring box.

At her shocked expression, he grinned. "I wanted it to be a surprise."

"I'm sensing a London theme," Monica grinned back. Her tears were dangerously close to falling now.

"That night with you in London was the best night of my life," Chandler admitted, staring earnestly into her eyes. "I didn't think it could get any better than that. But then I got to spend more nights with you, and every night was better than the last. I found out that every night I get to spend by your side is the best night of my life. And I want to spend all the rest of my nights with you."

He paused, opening the ring box. Inside, she saw the ring he proposed to her with all those years ago. The ring she gave back to him when she thought they were over for good.

"Monica Geller, will you marry me?"

"Yes! Yes!" Monica cried, kneeling in front of him and throwing her arms around him. She couldn't hold her tears back anymore. Holding her hand out for him to slide the ring on her finger, she held her breath. "You kept it," she whispered.

Chandler grinned sheepishly. "Of course I kept it. It reminded me of you. And that's not the only thing I kept." Reaching behind his back, he pulled out a second ring box. "This is because I'm sorry. Will you marry me?"

She blinked in confusion until Chandler opened the box. Then she recognized it as the ring Chandler used to propose after they had a fight and he was making a "grand gesture". Through her tears, she burst out laughing. But she still held out her hand so he could slip that ring on her finger, too.

"I wanted this proposal to be twice as amazing as the last one," Chandler explained, giving her a cheeky grin. "So I thought, 'What better way to do that than with two rings?'"

"I can't believe you kept this one too!" Monica gasped out in the middle of her laughter. "What were you going to do with it?"

Chandler's grin faded and he held her gaze firmly. "I kept it because even though I wasn't ready at the time, I thought maybe I could still use it when the time came. That's the funny thing, Mon. Even when I wasn't sure we would end up together, this ring always kept that door open for me. A part of me always knew we'd end up together, I think. And when I was almost certain I would never be with you again, I still couldn't stand to get rid of the ring. I didn't want to close that door."

"Wow," Monica choked. "Two rings and two beautiful speeches. I think we just set a record for the best proposal ever, Bing." Their faces were inches apart. She closed the gap and kissed him softly. The kiss was slow and sure; the kind of kiss that was waiting for a lifetime of kisses to follow it.

A minute or two later, the phone rang. Reluctantly parting from her fiance, Monica went to answer it. She already had an inkling of who was on the other line.

"Congratulations! I'm so excited for you! Ross and I were watching from the window. We're coming over with Emma. I'm sure Joey and Pheebs will be over soon too. We'll be there in five!"

* * *

**Author's Note:** So I didn't mean to wait so long between updates. I just got busy with going back to school and work, and I put this on the back burner. But I'm really happy with how the proposal turned out! Now I just need to write the epilogue. I hope people are still reading!

Thank you so much to my readers and especially my reviewers. It means so much to me to see people enjoying my story. I hope you like this latest installment!

**Disclaimer:** Nope, still, don't own any part of the FRIENDS franchise.


	15. Epilogue

Epilogue

Monica twirled around in her white dress, feeling the fabric envelope her in a silky embrace. Today was the day she would finally be united with her best friend. She smiled softly at her reflection in the mirror. She had never looked so beautiful, not even on her first wedding day. Her hair was curled and swept up in a loose up-do, tiny braids leading into the bun. The dress she wore was what she had originally planned two years ago. It flattered her curves much more than the other dress had. She was wearing a healthy amount of blush, but her flush couldn't solely be attributed to her makeup.

At her side, Rachel took a handkerchief out and started dabbing at her eyes. "You look gorgeous, Mon. That dress is stunning on you."

The brunette grinned. "It's been given Chandler's approval."

"He saw the dress already? That's bad luck!"

Monica kept smiling. "I don't believe in bad luck." And she didn't. Not anymore. Now she knew that she and Chandler could get through anything. She didn't need to rely on silly superstitions as evidence.

Rachel beamed at her best friend. "I can't believe how calmly you're handling this. Even after Phoebe left to literally put out a fire on your dad's suit. Last time, you were a wreck before anything bad even happened."

"I'm surprised too. But this just feels right. This is how it was supposed to happen." Monica said, and the two women gazed happily into the mirror. Rachel put an arm around her, pulling her close.

"Fire is out! Crisis averted!" Phoebe shouted, running back into the room. Seeing her two friends, she stopped running and went to join them at Monica's other side. "Awww, Monica, you're gonna marry the love of your life," she gushed. "I'm so happy for you!"

Monica fanned the air in front of her face. "Okay, that's enough of that! I'm gonna cry and ruin my makeup! This cost a fortune!"

Laughing, Rachel pulled away. "We're on in fifteen minutes anyway. Don't worry, I saw the groom arrive a half hour ago. Windows are bolted shut," she joked.

"His vows have no chance against mine," Monica muttered, fixing her hair in the mirror. Rachel and Phoebe exchanged glances. Monica's competitive nature was even brought out on her wedding day.

* * *

For a moment, Chandler couldn't breathe. The sight of Monica walking towards him, arm in arm with her father, was the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen. She was glowing. She had a lively expression on her face, like she was ready to conquer the world. And she was ready to conquer it with _him_. How did he get so lucky?

Just before she reached the altar, Joey gave him a thumbs up. Joey reprised his role as minister, and he couldn't be more excited. Chandler grinned at her and mouthed "You look beautiful". She flushed and held his hands.

They had only spent 24 hours apart, but it felt like a week. Ross had insisted he stay with him at his place, while Rachel stayed at their apartment with Monica. While Chandler appreciated it, he wasn't naive enough to think it was completely in good faith. He knew Ross wanted to watch over him to make sure he didn't leave again. Not like he could blame him. But Chandler had no plans to leave. He was ready to see this through.

Joey rushed through his spiel to get to the vows. Monica had insisted on going first. She didn't tell Chandler, but she borrowed heavily from her original vows. They had a different meaning now, but she thought it was better this way.

Grasping Chandler's hands tighter, she gazed into his eyes. Tears were already leaking from her eyes. "Chandler, for so long, I wondered if I would ever find my prince. My soulmate. Then, years ago at another wedding, I turned to a friend for comfort. And instead, I found everything that I've ever been looking for my whole life. So much has changed since then, but it still holds true. You have always been the greatest comfort to me. I know there's no obstacle too great for us to overcome. Our future is before us, and I only want to spend it with you. My prince, my soulmate, my friend."

Joey motioned for Chandler to go next, and he held his cue cards in front of him. To his surprise, he didn't need them. It was funny how most of his vows came to him on the bus ride back to New York after he ran out on their first wedding.

"Monica, loving you is the simplest thing I've ever done. It's as natural as breathing. I forgot that at times, but all I have to do is look at you and I remember. Any surprises that come our way, it's okay, because I will always love you. You are the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. You want to know if I'm sure?"

He took Monica in his arms and kissed her. They were lost in their own world before Joey awkwardly announced, "You, uh, may now kiss the bride." They behaved for the remainder of the ceremony, but they shared mischievous glances the whole way through.

After the ceremony, as they walked arm in arm down the altar, Monica put her head on his shoulder and giggled up at him. "Can we change our answering machine to a message from the Bings now?" she asked playfully.

Chandler smirked and nudged her. "I already changed it last night."

* * *

14 Years Later

For once, the Bings were enjoying a quiet Saturday afternoon together. Surprisingly, Jack and Erica agreed to spend time with their parents. These moments were becoming rarer now that the twins were twelve and moodier than ever. At least Olivia still liked her parents. But now that she was already ten, that was sure to change soon.

The family sat around the coffee table in their living room, looking over family pictures. Erica was sorting pictures into an unused album, and Jack was looking over pictures of his parents when they were younger. Meanwhile, Olivia was laughing over their baby pictures.

Chandler stole a glance across the table at Monica. He was so proud of their little family. And so grateful. Getting the twins was its own little miracle. The adoption process was painful, but they got an incredible reward from it. They had a complete family, and they didn't dare ask for more. But two years after they adopted the twins, Monica discovered she was pregnant. At first, they were too shocked to process it. They had long given up on the possibility. But soon enough, they were hopeful. They stressed the entire pregnancy, praying the baby was born healthy. Olivia was born with no complications, and more than healthy. The second she learned to crawl, she was off with a bang. Her parents couldn't keep up with her.

Through everything, Monica and Chandler maintained a strong marriage. They had their ups and downs, but they fought for each other. And Chandler knew he was safe, because Monica never lost a fight.

His peaceful thoughts were interrupted by Erica shoving a picture in his face. "Mom, Dad, what's this?" she demanded.

He focused on the picture and saw Monica on their wedding day. Upon closer inspection, he realized it was from their failed first wedding. She didn't look upset, so it must have been before she found out he was gone. But the kids didn't need to know about that. Playing dumb, he turned to Erica and placed the picture in front of her. "What do you mean, sweetie? It's your mom on our wedding day."

But Erica wasn't so complacent. "Then how come Mom is wearing a totally different dress than she had in the wedding pictures in the hall? Her hair isn't even the same!"

Jack took the photo from his sister and peered at it closely. "Yeah, you're right," he said. "Mom even looks a bit younger here than she looks in the other wedding pictures."

"Mom, what's going on? Were you married before?" Olivia piped up. At this, the twins turned to Monica and bombarded her with questions.

Monica looked at Chandler making frantic gestures across the table. She smirked at him before turning sweetly to their children. "I'm going to let your dad explain this one, guys. I'm sure he can provide a reasonable explanation."

Chandler gulped. His last hope for salvation was gone. His kids quickly turned their sights on him, like lions after their prey. He scrambled to get away, but it was too late.

"Dear God, this parachute is a knapsack!"

* * *

**Author's Note:** This story is finally complete! I hope you enjoyed pure fluff. I definitely wasn't expecting to get back to this story so late, but better late than never! I hope you enjoyed the journey!

Once again, thank you so much to everybody who read, reviewed, faved, and followed! It's what kept me going!

**Disclaimer:** Don't own any part of FRIENDS.


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